Collette shut the back of the Explorer that was loaded with her lifes belongings careful not to wake the little boy that was in the back seat. She took a deep breath then looked at the place she had called home for almost 24 years.
How did things get so out of hand? How did everything go so wrong? She knew she could never return. She knew she had to leave and take him with her. It was the only way they were going to survive.
Her family begged her to go to the police for help. They wanted there to be another way, but deep down they knew she had to do this. The only way that she was going to survive was to disappear.
She looked over at the sleeping boy in his car seat. He was such a miracle in her life, and she would never regret his existence. She was doing this all for him. He had the piercing blue eyes of his mother and hopefully no personality traits of his father.
Collette took one last look at her surroundings before getting into the vehicle and driving off to a place where she knew no one would find them. They were going to a place where they could blend into the crowd and just disappear. This was how they were going to survive.
---Almost One Year Later---
Do we really need to be doing this? Patrick asked as he felt as though he was being pressured into something that he didnt want to be doing.
Alright, Patrick, Im usually the one who closes himself off from the world from time to time, but honestly, you need some sun. You are starting to look, well, pale, Pete said choosing his words wisely as Patrick gave him the look.
Weve got so much work to do, Pete. Ive got some new ideas that I want to get down before I forget them, Patrick tried to reason with his friend.
No way. We are not going near the studio today. Today we arent going to be the boys in Fall Out Boy, we are just going to be Pete, Joe, Andy, and Patrick, Pete said walking towards the door knowing full well that Patrick was going to follow.
Fine, Patrick huffed and followed his friend.
Pete gave a knowingly smile. Patrick was such a push over.
----
Jackson, did you feed Nala and Simba? Collette asked the four year old blonde haired boy who sat too close to the TV watching what ever nonsense cartoon that was on.
Yeah, he said quietly not removing his eyes from the screen.
Collette looked at him from the kitchen and smiled warmly at the boy. He was her only reason for living. She was living for this blondie who stole her heart the moment she laid eyes on him.
What about Rooger? Collette asked looking at the rather large yellow lab staring at her.
Yeah, he said again still not giving her his full attention.
Are you sure? Because hes looking at me like he hasnt been fed, she said as the dog tilted his head knowing that she was talking about him.
Oh CoCo, he just wants a treat. Hes a beggar, Jackson said turning off his cartoon show being as the credits were now rolling.
Jackson started to walk into the kitchen up to the lab that was wagging his tail vigorously.
Rooger, you have food, Jackson said patting the dog on the head, which he had to almost reach up to do so being as the dog was the same height as him sitting down.
Collette just giggled at the interaction between Rooger and Jackson. Rooger was born in the spring preceding Jacksons summer arrival. They had known each other practically their whole lives.
CoCo, can we go now? Jackson asked getting impatient.
Collette looked up at the clock.
Yeah, we have to go meet everyone at work, she said grabbing for her purse.
Alright! Jackson said excitedly as he ran towards the door.
-------
So where exactly are we going? Patrick asked as they drove through Southern California.
I dunno exactly. Joe said he heard about some festival going on about 20 minutes out of LA. Were going to check it out, Pete said driving swiftly through the LA traffic.
Are there going to be a lot of people there? Patrick asked.
Good God Patrick. Since when did you become such a whiner? Andy asked suddenly.
Andy could usually tolerate bad moods, it was practically a prerequisite when working closely with Pete, but Patrick was just getting on his nerves.
Im not a whiner, Patrick said crossing his arms over his chest and pouting.
What ever you say, dude, Joe said from the front seat.
What the hell is this? Rag on Patrick day? Patrick asked getting irritated.
Well, what do you expect? Youve been in a bad mood for the past month, and I have a sneaking suspicion that it is due to the fact that you havent been laid in, refresh my memory again, six months, Pete said from his position at the drivers seat.
@#%$ you. How long its been since Ive gotten laid is none of your damn business, Patrick said getting upset.
It is if you are making everyone around you miserable, Joe retorted.
Like any of you have the right to say anything! When was the last time you got some, Pete? Patrick countered leaning forward in his seat.
Last week, he said smugly.
Bull @#%$, Patrick said in disbelief. Who? he asked.
Patrick, I dont kiss and tell. You sing it in our lyrics, loose lips sink ships, Pete said laughing slightly at his reference.
The boy has a point, Andy said nodding along with Joe and Pete.
You guys are assholes, Patrick said slumping back into his seat pouting.
-----
Ok, I want everyone to listen closely, Collette said to the group of eleven kids including Jackson who were anxiously looking past her at all the fun and games that awaited them inside the festival.
Wren, Max, and I are in charge. You all have been assigned to one of us and you will stay with your person no matter what, ok? she said loudly so all could hear her.
Numerous OKs were heard from the group of boys.
OK, each of you will get ten tokens to play at the games, and ten tickets to go on the rides, which Wren and Max are going to hand out now. Do we all know what is expected of us? Collette asked making sure nothing was left unsaid.
Now there were a number of yess heard from the boys.
Ok, be good and have fun, she said smiling at them. The boys scattered into their groups and held out their hands for their tokens and tickets.
Collette, Wren, and Max worked at a boys group home which housed boys ranging from ages seven to twelve who had moderate to severe behavioral and mental health problems. It wasnt very often that they were able to bring the boys out into the community, but being as the festival was in a small town the chances of too many people or too much trouble were slim.
Where to first boys? Collette asked the smaller group of four boys practically dancing to get to the fun.
Games! Jackson yelled out excitedly.
Does anyone object? she asked and all boys shook their heads no wildly. Alright, onto the games, she said pointing forward.
The boys cheered and walked quickly to the small stands that had a number of different carnival games all in a line.
----
Patrick walked around the festival lost in his thoughts following behind Pete, Joe and Andy.
Maybe the guys were right. Maybe he was being crabby lately. Maybe he did need to lighten up a little.
Patrick was suddenly brought back to reality when he heard the most contagious laugh ever. His head perked up and he looked around for the culprit. This person was laughing with such a care free spirit. It reminded him greatly of Pete and his laugh. Once he started, he had everyone around him joining in.
Patrick walked away from the guys and turned the corner to see a young woman with dark brown hair, almost black, playing ski ball with some kids.
Patrick stopped in his tracks and watched. He knew it was probably creepy, but he couldnt help but notice how much fun this person was having. She gave off the presence that she had no worries in the world. She was giving the boys high fives, picking the small one up and twirling him around, and laughing with all of them, Patrick couldnt help but smile to himself.
Patrick? Pete asked from behind him causing him to jump.
What? he asked irritated that Pete had interrupted his day dream.
Do you want to play ski ball, or are you just going to stand there like a creepy old man? Pete asked unsure of what exactly Patrick was up to.
Im not being creepy. Im just admiring how full of life that girl is over there, Patrick said glancing back towards the ski ball games to find that she and the four boys she was with were no where to be found.
Right, Pete said giving Patrick the I think youre crazy look.
No, dont do that, Patrick said pointing at Pete. She was there, he said trying to defend himself.
Man, I think we may have been too late with this break from work. Youre loosing it, Pete said putting his arm around Patricks neck to pull him towards the other two who had found their way to the arcade.
Patrick walked with Pete, but kept a look out for the mystery girl who had caused him to stop and enjoy life if only it were for a matter of minutes.
----
Ok, I know you have some sort of complex about going out, but I dont care anymore. Youve been in California for almost a year now, and you have not once gone out on the town, Wren said turning around in her seat to talk to Collette.
Im a homebody. I like to stay home, she said simply.
Just hear me out. I have a great babysitter for my daughter, so you can drop off Jackson and we are going to go to a great martini/piano bar, Wren said quickly before Collette could protest in the middle of her plans.
I dont think so, Collette said quietly as she looked down at Jackson who had fallen asleep. She smiled slightly at the sight of his blue cotton candy stained face.
Come on girl. I know that you are not old enough to be sitting at home with a four year old every night. Its time to act your age and have some fun, Wren started with her arguments. She always let Collette get away with staying home and she wasnt going to give up without a fight this time.
I dont know, Collette said sounding not so sure.
Well, I do. If you are worried about Jackson, dont be. My cousin is the babysitter; shes been looking after Josie since she was a baby. Shes great. You have nothing to be worried about, Wren said knowing that Jackson was the main reason that Collette never went out.
Collette sat there looking at her friend contemplating actually going out. Its true, she has been in California for almost a year and not once had she been out without Jackson by her side. It would be nice to go somewhere that didnt have a playground inside. But what if something bad happened and her cell phone died. She would never forgive herself if something happened to Jackson when she wasnt there.
Stop it, right now, Wren said sternly.
What? Collette asked shocked.
I know what youre doing. Youre thinking about all the bad outcomes that could result in you going out tonight, she said knowingly.
I am not, Collette lied.
Collette, stop being such a wuss and go out already, Max said from the drivers seat.
See, Wren said smiling at her.
Fine. Ill go out, but this is going to be the last time you pester me for another year, Collette said pointing a finger at her friend.
I can handle that, Wren said smiling as she turned back around in her face.
Collette just smiled to herself. Maybe Wren was right. Maybe she did need to get out more often. Collettes smile faded when she looked down at Jackson, but then again, maybe not.
-----
Patrick sat on his bed thinking about his point in life thus far. Patrick was always known as the serious quiet one, but he still liked to have fun. It just seemed as though that lately he had forgotten how to even have fun. How did he get to this point? He was only 22 years old. He was too young to take life that seriously.
His mind drifted off to that girl that he had seen earlier that day. She must have had a great life. She seemed so care free and able to live in the moment. He should take note of her actions and try to incorporate some of that loving life modality into his own.
Hey Patrick? Patrick was interrupted by Pete lightly knocking on the door and walking in.
Yeah, he asked standing up from his place on his bed.
Andy was just checking the paper and he noticed that the piano duet that you like is going to be at The Ivory tonight. Do you want to go? he asked standing in the doorway.
Patrick stood there for a moment. Maybe this was a sign that he needed to go out and have some fun.
Sure, sounds like fun, he said smiling slightly.
Great, well be leaving in about an hour, Pete said smiling mainly to himself.
He had been worried about Patrick lately. He seemed to take everything onto his shoulders and he didnt need that stress. He didnt want the lifestyle that they had from being in a band crush his best friend. In a way, Pete just wished he could keep Patrick out of the public eye completely in order to keep him safe and innocent.
-----
Collette, honestly. You have to let go of the child. Hes not coming with us, Wren said standing in the doorway of her home beginning to get rather impatient.
I know, Collette said as she released Jackson, who just rolled his eyes.
He was only four, where did he get that from?
Just go, CoCo. Everything will be fine, he said patting her lightly on the shoulder.
This wasnt the way it was supposed to be. The child should be the one not wanting to let go, not the parent.
Ok, you have my cell number right? Collette asked standing up from her kneeled position in front of the little boy that was her life.
She has it all. Now lets go, Wren said irritated grabbing Collette by the purse strap and pulling her out the door.
Be good, Collette said waving to Jackson as Wren marched her way to her vehicle.
Have fun! Jackson yelled back.
-----
The boys walked into the dimly lit bar. The Ivory wasnt a very well known bar, so it was quite quiet for a Saturday evening. Patrick took a deep breath as he walked in. The atmosphere caused him to relax immediately. It was low key and had the wonderful sounds of pianos playing in the background.
Pete noticed immediately as Patricks shoulders seem to fall from their tense position and smiled to himself. This was definitely what the boys needed. They needed some time to relax and be free from pushy press or screaming fans.
Where do you guys want to sit? Joe asked looking around the club.
There were people in booths talking quietly and others sitting at tables listening to the music of the pianos on stage.
How about a booth? Andy suggested pointing to one near the back.
Andy always liked to stay as inconspicuous as possible even though this club was not one to hold many Fall Out Boy fans.
Sounds good to me, Patrick shrugged and followed Andy towards the booth. Pete and Joe went up to the bar to get some refreshments.
How you doing? Andy asked as they sat for a moment.
Fine, Patrick said questioning Andys question.
You just seem tense lately. Everything alright? he asked again.
Fine, everything is fine, Patrick said playing with the drink menu avoiding Andys prying eyes.
Alright, here you guys go, Pete said setting down the beverages on the table and breaking the tension between Andy and Patrick.
-----
Do I look okay? Collette asked as they walked into the club.
Honey, you are smokin, Wren said walking with much more confidence as Collette. Who knew that you had something so hott in your wardrobe, Wren spoke of Collettes little black dress.
Well, isnt it female law that every girl has that little black dress? Collette asked fidgeting with her purse.
I suppose you are right. I shouldnt be so shocked. Where do you want to sit? Wren said scanning the club.
There werent too many people there that night, which was nice. Hopefully Collette would lighten up enough to enjoy herself.
Why dont we sit at the tables over there by the pianos, Collette suggested nodding towards an open table near the back of that section.
You go, Ill get us drinks, Wren said skipping away before Collette could tell her to just get her water. She knew it was no use anyway. Wren was going to do what she wanted.
Collette nervously walked over to the table and sat down glancing around at the others who were quietly talking in groups, gazing at each other from across the table, or listening to the pianos. Collette nervously smoothed out her dress and took a deep breath.
I just met the cutest boy! Wren said setting down a beverage in a martini glass in front of Collette.
No boys, Wren, Collette warned.
Not for you. For me, she said rolling her eyes at Collette. So that was where Jackson got it.
Well then, describe, Collette said sipping cautiously on her drink. She looked back down at it in surprise when it tasted really good.
Oh my god, what is this? she asked in shock.
A chocolate martini, Wren said simply.
It is so good, Collette gushed.
Yeah, and practically all alcohol, so sip. I know it wont take you much to get drunk since Im pretty sure you havent had a drink since you came to California, Wren said drinking from her martini.
Hey, Im not as much of a light weight as you think I am, Collette defended herself.
Well, its kind of hard to tell, since you are wound up so tight, my dear, Wren said looking at her friend with a sad face.
What is that supposed to mean? Collette asked.
I know for a fact that you need to get laid, Wren said gently putting a hand on Collettes wrist.
Excuse me? Collette asked shocked. How the hell did the conversation take such a big turn?
Hun, its been too long, and thats just not healthy, Wren said seriously.
Collette couldnt understand how Wren was being so serious because this conversation was ludicrous.
And that is why you need to find a man, Wren finished her speech.
Are you about done? Collette asked seriously. She was not under the impression that this evening would be spent talking about her sex-life or lack there of.
Im sorry, darlin, but I worry about you, Wren said with concern.
Im fine, Wren. I dont want to get involved with anyone while Jackson is so young. Its too difficult if he gets attached to someone and the relationship doesnt work out. Something like that could crush the kid, Collette said taking another drink of her martini.
Then dont have a relationship. Just have sex, Wren stated like it was no big deal.
So tell be about this boy you met? Collette said changing the subject knowing it was the only way to get off the one they were currently on.
Oh yeah! Hes such a cutie! His name is Joe, and he has dark curly hair and the cutest little lisp when he talks. And he was funny! Wren ranted on about the boy she spent no more than three minutes talking to.
Collette just started laughing at her friend and shaking her head.
What? Wren asked when she noticed Collettes body language.
Wren, you sound as though you are in love with the boy and you barely talked to him, she said laughing still.
He was nice, Wren said shrugging and continued to drink her beverage.
This just caused Collette to laugh more.
-----
Patrick sat in the booth listening to Pete and Joe talk about the club they went to the other night and how all the chicks were so hott. He continued to fidget with the drink menu adding a few comments along the way.
His head shot up when he heard that laugh. It was the same laugh from earlier that day. There was no way that this girl was in the same place he was twice in one twenty-four hour period. His eyes began to scan the restaurant quickly. No one seemed to notice his change in behavior right away. Finally, he had spotted her. They were sitting to the left of their booth just a few feet closer to the stage than they were.
Patrick! Hello! Pete said waving a hand in front of Patricks face.
What are you looking at? Joe asked looking that way as well.
Nothing, Patrick said quickly.
Pete looked over and noticed the table of two girls and smirked.
Bull @#%$. I think Patrick has some eye-candy, Pete cooed.
Shut up, Patrick said mumbling.
I dont shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up, Pete said a line from Stand By Me.
And then your mother goes around the corner and licks it up, Patrick retorted.
Pete burst into his hearty laugh causing the girls to glance over at the sudden outburst.
Real mature boys, Andy said simply. Patrick just slouched down in his seat wishing to disappear at that moment.
Oh no, Patrick. They saw you, Pete said teasing Patrick.
Hey, I know that girl, Joe said pointing. Well, no one said he had great manners.
Patrick sat up quickly at this news.
You do? he asked trying not to sound too anxious.
Yeah, we met at the bar a little while back. Her name wassomething likeRaven or something, Joe said trying to think.
Joe, relax. You dont want to hurt yourself, Andy said chuckling slightly.
@#%$ you, Joe said flipping Andy off.
Which one did you talk to? Patrick asked interested.
The one in the red dress, he said taking a swig of his beer. Why, you want me to introduce you guys?
Oh yeah, that would sound good. Patrick, this is.oh wait, I know it, Raven or something. Raven or something, this is my friend Patrick, Pete said imitating Joe.
Youre just jealous, Joe said back.
Right, Pete said laughing.
No, shes not the one, Patrick said quietly trying to ignore the boys banter.
So the dark-haired lady strikes your fancy, eh? Pete said trying to look over Joe to get a better glance.
Would you stop staring? They are going to notice us looking at them, Patrick said in a hushed tone noticing that the girls kept looking over at them.
Fine, geeze, Pete said sitting back down.
-----
Collette and Wren looked over to the table that had burst out into laughter.
Wow, Collette, that guy has a louder laugh than you, Wren said simply.
What ever, Collette muttered.
Hey! Thats the cute boy I met at the bar, Wren said happily.
Which one? Collette asked taking a better look at the boys.
Duh, the one with dark curly hair. Oh crap, he just pointed over here, she said looking away quickly.
Why do I suddenly feel like I am in high school? Collette asked her friend.
Hey, Collette. I think one of them is crushing on you, Wren said glancing at the table to see a boy in a black hat and dark rimmed glasses staring.
Wren, no, Collette said knowing full well what her friend was thinking.
Come on Collette. He looks cute, Wren said still glancing over at the booth full of boys.
Stop staring, Wren. They are going to see you, Collette lightly kicked her friend under the table.
Ow! That hurt, Wren said rubbing her shin slightly.
Well, you deserved it, Collette scorned.
Wren continued to rub her shin as she glared over at Collette who was now trying to avoid her glances and listen to the piano music.
Wren stood up quickly causing Collette to sit up with surprise.
Where are you going? she asked sounding almost scared. There was no telling what her friend would do.
Im going to use the rest room if that is ok with you, Wren said putting her purse on her shoulder.
Wren, please dont do anything stupid, Collette pleaded with her eyes.
Im just going to the restroom. Man Collette, you need to lighten up, she said walking away.
Collette sat back in her chair and downed the rest of her martini in three big gulps. She took another deep breath and tried to concentrate on the piano players in front of her, but couldnt get the feeling that Wren was up to something.
-----
Patrick sat at the table trying extremely hard not to stare at the girl that was now sitting all alone. She fidgeted constantly and Patrick caught himself smiling a couple of times at these mannerisms. It was unreal to him that he would see this girl twice in one day. What were the chances?
Hey guys. This is Wren, Joe said as he walked up to the table with the girl in the red dress. Wren, Raven, at least he had the right animal.
Hi Wren, Pete said emphasizing her name, so Joe would realize he would be getting @#%$ later for saying it wrong earlier.
Hi, she said happily.
Wren, this is Patrick, Andy, and Pete, Joe said finishing the introductions.
Nice to meet you, Andy said being polite and taking her hand. Patrick just glanced slightly and waved.
Likewise, she said back. So Joe tells me you guys are in a band? she asked making conversation.
Yeah, Fall Out Boy, Pete said being the main spokesperson of the group.
Ive heard of you guys. My boys love you guys, she said no recognizing them all.
Your boys? How many do you have? Joe asked shocked. This girl couldnt be over 25.
Ten, she said simply.
Pete choked on his beverage and started coughing loudly.
What? Joe asked shocked.
Ten boys? How old are you? Andy asked just as surprised as the next.
You should know never to ask a lady her age, Wren said teasing. Andy blushed.
What I meant was you dont look old enough to have ten boys unless it was multiple births or something, he said stammering slightly with his words.
I didnt birth them. When I say I have ten boys, Im referring to the boys in the group home I work for, she said laughing at all their body language at the time.
Group home? Pete asked now very intrigued by her line of work.
Yeah, my friend Collette and I work at a group home which houses boys with mental and behavioral health needs, Wren said pointing to her friend sitting by herself.
Really. Thats awesome. That must be challenging work, Pete said leaning closer to where Wren was standing. Being one who has had problems with mental health at a young age, he has always admired those in the profession working to help those youth.
It is very challenging, but very rewarding. I wouldnt trade those boys for anything, she said smiling as she thought about them.
Do you want to sit down? Pete asked wanting to talk to her more.
I better not, my friend is all by herself, Wren said backing away slightly.
Oh no, invite her to join us, Joe said placing a soft hand on her elbow.
Patrick sat straight up at that invitation. She was going to come over here?
Well, let me see if she is willing to come join you guys, Wren said and turned to walk away with a grin on her face. That works every time.
-----
Collette sat by herself wondering what the hell could be taking her friend so long. She knew for a fact that it didnt take this long to use the ladies bathroom. She started to shift uncomfortably in her seat when she heard a slight commotion come from the booth of boys to her right. She glanced over to see Wren standing there talking to them.
Damn her. Collette quickly turned towards the piano players and started to pray that Wren wasnt doing what she thought she was doing.
Collette tensed up when she noticed her friend come walking towards her.
What did you do? Collette asked noticing the sly smile on Wrens face.
They would like us to join them, Wren said grabbing Collettes purse.
Wren, no, Collette said in a loud whisper grabbing for her purse.
Collette, listen to me. These guys are really cool. They are in a band. Fall Out Boy. Remember Nicolas talking about them all the time? Wren said quietly.
I know Fall Out Boy. I actually like their stuff, Collette said looking over at the table and immediately recognizing the boys.
See! This will be fun. Come on. Live a little, Wren said pleading with her friend.
Fine. But I am not having sex with any of them, Collette said pointing a finger at her friend.
Hey, what you do on your own time is your own business, Wren said holding her hands up in defense.
Collette just rolled her eyes at her friend. Okay, so maybe Jackson got it from her.
Boys, this is Collette. Collette, this is Patrick, Andy, Joe, and Pete, Wren said pointing around the booth.
Collette just smiled slightly and waved as the boys said hello.
Here, have a seat, Andy said standing up and allowing Wren to sit next to Patrick.
He tensed up immediately.
Ill go get us some drinks, Joe said motioning for Collette to take a seat next to Pete.
Collette nodded and sat down glancing at the boys. They seemed harmless enough.
Wren was telling us about you guys working at a group home, Pete said starting a conversation.
Yeah, Collette said back. She was extremely nervous.
That sounds so interesting to me, Pete said trying to engage the nervous girl sitting next to him.
Oh it cant be as interesting as being rock stars, she said not looking up from the table.
I dont know about that, Pete said laughing slightly.
Youre just being modest, Wren said trying to lighten the mood.
Patrick couldnt tear his eyes away from the dark haired girl that sat diagonally from him. For someone with such a care free laugh, she sure was shy.
Joe came back and set drinks down in front of people.
Thanks, Joe, Pete said grabbing his beverage and continued his conversations with Wren.
Collette took a big swig of what ever flavor martini Joe had got her. Mid drink she noticed someone looking at her so she stopped and set her drink down laughing slightly. She must have looked like an alcoholic.
She looked back into Patricks eyes and continued to smile. He smiled back and that was when Collettes heart stopped beating. Patricks eyes looked deeply into the dark chocolate brown eyes of Collette. He was trying to read her soul, but she wasnt giving much away.
Collette suddenly felt flushed. Maybe the alcohol was taking more of an effect that she thought, or maybe it was the most heart warming smile she had ever witnessed coming from the boy in the hat.
Collette and Patrick both jumped out of their long gazes when Pete started laughing at something Wren had told him about one her boys. Collette put her hand up to her heart willing it to start beating normally again.
Collette, you ok? Wren asked her friend.
Yeah, why? she asked trying to play it cool.
You look flushed, Wren stated.
Oh? Well, I am a bit warm. Is it hot in here? she asked looking around the table.
No, not really, Pete said shaking his head no.
I think I just need some fresh air, Collette said scooting towards Joe, so he would let her out of the booth. She quickly made a bee line for the door.
Is she going to be alright? Andy asked concerned.
Im not sure, Wren said starting to get up from her spot.
Ill go check on her, Patrick offered causing everyone to look over at him shocked. It was the most he said since the girls had joined them.
Are you sure? Wren asked.
Yeah, Im a little warm myself, Patrick said scooting out of the booth and following the same path Collette took to leave the club.
-----
Collette stood with her back against the wall staring up at the sky. Why was she acting so shy? Why was she so scared about how the man in the hat was making her heart beat? Collette questioned her actions and came to one conclusion for all; Jackson.
Collette stood up straight once she heard the door open. She noticed the man from inside and she gave him an odd look as he looked out to his right. She heard him take a deep sigh as if he couldnt find what he was looking for.
Looking for something? Collette asked causing him to jump a mile and turn to face her.
Yeah, you, he said sounding startled.
Me? she asked tensing up even more.
Your friend was going to check on you, but I offered, he said casually walking towards Collette.
Why? she asked.
This caused the man to stop in his tracks and almost look hurt.
Iwell, I, he started to stutter with his words.
Sorry, that was rude, she said looking down.
She heard him sigh and stand right in front of her. Collette looked up into his eyes and felt her face become flushed again.
Im Patrick, he said holding out his hand with a genuine smile on his face.
Collette, she said taking his hand in hers not allowing her eyes to leave his.
Its very nice to meet you, Patrick said glad that she was throwing him some sort of bone.
You too. I actually enjoy your music, she said relaxing against the wall again.
Really? he asked leaning against the wall now.
Collette noticed the warmth on her right from his closeness and got goose bumps on her arm.
You sound shocked, she said laughing slightly.
Well, most people who hang out in piano bars dont listen to Fall Out Boy, he stated matter-o-factly.
Well, Im not like most people, she said looking over at him.
Patrick smiled over at her. Was she flirting?
Thats good to know, he said looking straight ahead.
Collette couldnt believe what she was doing. She hadnt flirted with a boy in over a year. Had she completely lost it?
Actually, when you work with kids, you try to keep up to date with what they are listening to, she said coughing slightly.
She needed to back track to the point where she wasnt flirting. She didnt want to give him the wrong impression.
Oh, Patrick said simply. Ok, so maybe she wasnt flirting.
Not to say that I dont like your music, she said quickly. It had sounded as though she had hurt his feelings and she didnt mean for that to happen.
Its ok if you dont like our stuff. Its not for everyone, he said laughing a little.
Collette looked at his profile and tilted her head. She just stared at him smiling. This guy seemed so nice and almost huggable like a teddy bear.
Patrick noticed the silence and looked at Collette from the corner of his eye.
What? he asked turning to look at her.
Collette stood up straight not believing that she had just got caught staring.
Nothing, she said looking forward.
It was Patricks turn to stare. She had such simple features that perked his interest. Collette felt his eyes on her.
What? she asked him not turning to face him.
Nothing, Patrick said simply still staring. It was completely uncharacteristic of him, but he couldnt help himself.
Collette just blushed fiercely and put her head down.
So tell me something about yourself, he said trying to make Collette not feel so shy.
Collette dreaded that question. She had to keep her information as close to the present as possible. She never dug into her past.
I work at a boys home with Wren, she said simply.
Well, I already know that. What do you do there? he asked offering her something to go off of.
Im a therapist, so I do group and individual therapy with them. We also take them on outings to teach them social skills and living skills, she said starting to relax a little.
Wow. Sounds like a lot of work, he said leaning his shoulder against the wall.
Collette kept her back against the cool brick. It was the only thing keeping her grounded at the moment.
It is a lot of work, but it doesnt feel like work. I love my job so much, it almost seems too good to be true, you know? she asked only moving her head to look at him.
Yeah, actually. I do, he said laughing slightly.
Of course you do. Duh, she said to herself shaking her head.
So what ages do you work with? Patrick asked trying to get back into a conversation. He was starting to fall in love with the sound of her voice. As simple of a thing it was.
They range from seven to fourteen. Its never a dull moment with them, thats for sure, she said thinking back to the boys.
Yeah, I can imagine its kind of like living on a tour bus with Pete, Patrick said causing Collette to burst out laughing.
There it was; her laugh. Patricks eyes lit up and had a longing to make her laugh again just so he could hear the initial outburst.
Well, it seems we have something in common, she said still giggling slightly.
It seems so, he said back.
Collette looked into Patricks eyes and fell deep into them. She had let her guard down and found herself wondering what it would be like to wake up and see those eyes looking over at her. It had been so long since she had been held in strong arms that she was starting to long for it. For so long she had to be the strong arms holding other people.
Patrick couldnt help but stare at this being in front of him. She had a genuine laugh, a bright smile, and a curious personality. One moment she is open and fun-loving, and the next she is closed up and shy. Patricks eyes wandered down to her lips. They were the perfect shape with a slight tint of pink in them. He started to wonder what it would be like to kiss her.
Hey guys! both Patrick and Collette jumped at the sound of Andys voice.
Andy, you scared the @#%$ out of me, Patrick said turning around towards the door.
Well, youve been out here for almost twenty minutes. We thought you got abducted by aliens or something, he said laughing from the doorway.
Nope, just enjoying one anothers company, Patrick said walking towards the door.
Collette followed quietly. She saw that look in Patricks eyes and knew what they were saying and in a way she wanted him to kiss her, but she knew she couldnt kiss him. There was no way that she could get involved with someone. Especially someone like Patrick Stump, lead vocalist of Fall Out Boy.
Patrick and Andy allowed Collette to enter the building first. She started to go towards the bathroom.
Youre not running off again are you? Patrick asked grabbing her upper arm slightly. He had the cutest smile on his face that once again Collette melted at.
No, Ill be right there, she smiled back.
Patrick just nodded and let her go.
Alright, but I dont think the staff will appreciate me going into the ladies room to check on you, he said turning to walk away.
Collette laughed slightly and continued on her way. Once in the bathroom, Collette locked the large door just for good measure. She didnt know Patrick all that well, and she had no idea if he was serious about coming in and checking on her.
She turned and looked straight into the mirror. Taking a deep breath, Collette wet a paper towel and put it over her face. There is no way that she can start liking a guy.
Jackson, Jackson, Jackson. Keep thinking about him, Collette, she said to herself looking into the mirror again.
She stared for the longest time allowing her thoughts to sweep away to Patrick. He was so cute and genuinely nice. It had been a long time since she had felt even remotely comfortable around a guy. It was nice.
Damn it, she whispered to herself.
She washed her hands and headed for the door still unsure of where she stood with her thoughts. Collette opened the door to see Patrick standing there.
Hi, she said quickly unsure of what he was doing.
I have no idea what I am doing, he said answering her unspoken question.
Okay, Collette said feeling glued to her spot.
This is so out of character for me and if the guys knew I was going to do this they would make a scene for sure, he started taking a deep breath.
Collette knew he wasnt done speaking, so she just stood there in shock allowing him to continue.
Its just, the first time I saw you this afternoon at the fair, I couldnt get my mind off of you, he gushed.
You saw me at the fair? Collette interrupted. She knew it wasnt the point, but was shocked by this added information.
Are you stalking me? she asked smiling trying to lighten the intense atmosphere that seemed to suddenly surround them.
What? No, no, Im not stalking you, Patrick said getting caught off guard by the question.
I was kidding, she said biting her lip slightly. She didnt want to laugh at him, but the look on his face was priceless.
Oh, well. As I was saying, Patrick said knowing if he didnt get out what he was going to say that second, he was never going to do it and always wonder. Can I get your number? he blurted out quickly.
Collette stood there staring at him. Her face showed no change in emotion. This wasnt the reaction he was expecting at all. I mean most guys fear this reaction, but they never actually get it.
Or not, he said quietly turning into the shy guy who was sitting at the table once before.
Oh, Patrick. Im sorry, Collette said breaking out of her shock.
She wasnt expecting him to ask her that and she was pretty sure she needed to remind her heart to begin beating again.
Its ok. Forget I asked anything at all, he said turning towards the mens bathroom.
No its not that, Collette reached for his arm to stop him.
Patrick turned around slowly not saying anything. He just stood there waiting for her response unnoticeably holding his breath.
Its just, this is a really bad time for me right now to get into any form of a relationship with anyone, she said knowing she couldnt do the one thing that she ever so wanted to do.
Its alright. I understand, Patrick said quietly.
Its not that I dont want to. Its just that I cant, and I wish I could explain it to you, but some things are just better left unsaid, she said trying not to crush his heart and trying not to show him that she was crushing her own in the process.
Yeah, bad timing. I get it, he said coughing slightly as he walked into the bathroom.
Collette dropped her shoulders as she saw his back walk away from her.
@#%$, she said out loud as she walked over to the table.
She noticed everybody having such a good time, she didnt want to ruin the fun, but she needed to go home.
Hey hun, Wren said as she noticed her friend coming towards the table.
Hi, Collette said quietly. Joe stood up for her to sit down.
Actually, I hate to be a buzz kill, but I think Im going to go, she said putting a five on the table to tip the waitress.
What? No, Wren whined.
Is everything ok? Pete asked.
Everythings fine. Im just tired. It was pleasure meeting all you guys, Collette said shaking everyones hands.
Yeah you too, Andy said back.
Well, Im going too, Wren said grabbing for her purse.
You too? Joe asked sounding disappointed.
Yeah, time for the evening to end, Wren said sighing heavily.
Wren, I can cab it. You dont have to leave, Collette said wanting to get out of there before Patrick came back.
Yeah, stay, Joe said happily.
No no. I came with Collette and I am leaving with her, she said writing something down on a napkin. Here, call me sometime, Wren handed Joe a napkin with her number on it.
Okay, Joe said looking at it before folding it and putting the number in his back pocket.
Collette couldnt believe how easy it was for Wren to just hand over her number to complete stranger.
It was a pleasure boys, Wren said saying goodbye.
Collette had already started to walk out of the club. She knew that Wren wouldnt be too far behind her.
As she passed the bathrooms she got a glimpse of Patrick standing there listening to messages on his phone. She smiled sadly at him and waved slightly before going out the door not wanting to see his response.
Do you want to tell me what that was all about? Wren asked walking out of the club.
I told you that you could stay, Collette said walking towards the car.
Well, obviously I couldnt stay when you were leaving with a look that your puppy just died on your face, Wren said trying to move her short legs fast enough to catch up to her friend.
I would just like to go home, Collette said not wanting to talk about it.
Oh no. Youre not getting off that easy. Those boys were cute, Joe especially, now you are going to tell me why we are leaving at eleven oclock, Wren said unlocking the doors for Collette to get in.
He asked me for my number, Collette said simply.
Who? Patrick? Wren asked confused.
Yup, Collette said staring straight ahead.
Well, did you give it to him? Wren asked driving down the road.
Collette looked over at Wren in shock.
You know I cant do that, Collette said raising her voice slightly.
Well, why the hell not? Wren asked watching the road closely.
Jackson isnt at the age where I can start dating, Collette said shaking her head.
Cut the bullshit, Collette, Wren said angrily.
Excuse me? Collette asked shocked. Where was the hostility coming from?
Stop using him as an excuse to stay in your sheltered little life. If you keep using him as an excuse, you are going to start to resent him and that isnt going to help your situation any either, Wren said trying with all her might to get her friend to see what she was doing.
What do you know about my situation? You know nothing about my situation, Collette said sounding angry now. Now wasnt the time for Wren to start using therapeutic techniques on her friend.
I dont know anything about your situation because you wont tell anybody. Honey, that is no way to live, Wren said sounding more sympathetic than angry now.
Im doing all that I can to survive, Wren. Please, just let me continue to do it my way, Collette said sounding almost exhausted.
Alright, Collette, but one day you are going to think back and wonder what if. I just hope you are prepared to be able to go through that alone, Wren said and turned up the radio to signal she was done with the current conversation.
Collette just took a deep breath. She knew what Wren was trying to do, and it pissed her off because it was working. What was she to do now anyway? It was too late.
-----
Patrick came back to the table feeling horrible. Now all he wanted to do was go home as in Chicago home.
Hey guys, Im going to jet, he said standing at the table.
Do we smell or something? Pete asked smelling his armpits.
What? Patrick asked confused.
Well, just a couple of minutes ago, Collette came by and said she was leaving too, looking about as crappy as you do, Pete said looking up at Patrick.
Thanks, Pete, Patrick said sounding annoyed. He was anything, but in the mood to joke around.
Dude, you ok? Joe asked noticing his irritable behavior.
I just wanna go, Patrick said sounding defeated.
We can all go, Pete said taking note of his friends body language. He knew something was wrong.
No, you guys stay. I can take a cab, Patrick said putting his hands in his pocket.
Naw, lets go, Pete said putting some money on the table and scooting out of the booth.
The other two followed suit. Patrick just shrugged and walked towards the door. He told them they could stay; it wasnt his fault that they didnt listen.
Patrick sat in the back seat staring out the window watching LA pass by in an orange and yellow blur. He every now and then would tune into the conversation that Joe and Andy were having from the front seat. Joe was talking about calling Wren since she gave him her number. It must be nice to not be rejected by someone.
Pete watched Patrick cautiously trying to read him. He knew better than to ask Patrick about it in front of the others. Patrick is not one to talk about his feelings in front of people. Pete was just relieved that he and Patrick had a close enough relationship that they could talk to each other about things; otherwise this lifestyle would be overly unbearable for the both of them.
-----
Collette gently put a sleeping Jackson in his bed. His blond hair was all ruffled as he rolled over onto his stomach. Collette smiled down on him.
She was not going to resent him for her lifestyle. None of this was his fault, but she had to live this way for him. She stared down at the boy not being able to fathom ever having the feeling of resentment towards him.
Collette left the sleeping boy with his large yellow lab sleeping at the foot of the bed. She shut his door slightly and went into her bedroom and pulled out the one photo album that she brought from home. It was the one thing from her past that she brought with her. It was her second most prized possession with Jackson being the first.
Collette flipped through pages looking at all the happy smiles on each page. She missed everyone from home so much. She hadnt talked to anyone since the day before they left. No one knew where they were, and unfortunately that was how it was going to stay.
Collette stopped on the page of when Jackson was a newborn. She stared intently at the two sets of deep blue eyes that stared back at her. Tears welled up into her eyes.
CoCo?
Collette slammed the photo album shut and wiped her eyes quickly before looking at her door where Jackson stood with Rooger next to him.
Jackson, are you ok? she asked standing up to go towards him.
I had a bad dream, he said quietly.
Do you want to tell me about it? she asked picking him up into her arms. He just shook his head no.
Ok, you dont have to tell me, she said rubbing the back of his neck for comfort.
She felt him cling onto her tightly and all questioning thoughts about not giving Patrick her phone number vanished.
Do you want to sleep with me tonight? she asked the little boy. He just nodded his head yes.
Alright, Collette said and pulled back her covers with one arm and gently set him in her bed pulling the covers tightly around him.
What were you looking at? he pointed to the book lying in the middle of the bed.
Some of mommys pictures, she said running her hand through his hair.
Oh, can I look at them? he asked.
Tomorrow, ok, she said kissing his forehead.
Ok, he said snuggling into her covers more.
Come on Rugger, Collette said patting the end of her bed designated for the oversized dog.
Rugger jumped onto the bed with ease and made himself comfortable as well.
Ill be in bed in a moment, okay? Collette said from the doorway.
Okay, CoCo. Goodnight, Jackson said yawning the last word.
-----
Patrick immediately went to his room as soon as Andy had put the car in park. He really didnt feel like talking to anybody.
Pete of course, wasnt going to let Patrick just sit and sulk in his room. That wasnt his style.
Pete knocked quietly on his friends door and heard Patrick sigh from the other side.
Pete, Im tired. Can this wait? he asked sounding muffled through the wood.
Patrick knew it was Pete at his door. He knew that knock anywhere.
Pete opened the door and stepped in closing it behind him. Patrick just looked at his friend as if to ask what?
I dunno, Patrick. Can this wait until tomorrow? he asked crossing his arms over his chest.
Patrick set the sweatshirt that was in his hands on his bed and sat down.
Whats going on? Pete asked walking towards his friend.
I made a complete ass of myself tonight, Patrick said putting his head in his hands.
You have to be more specific. Im the king of asses, Pete said taking a seat in a chair that held numerous articles of clothing.
Patrick gave a half smile knowing that Pete was half being serious and half trying to cheer his friend up.
I asked Collette for her number, Patrick started.
You did? Pete said sounding shocked. That was completely out of character for Patrick.
Yeah, well, it didnt go well because she totally turned me down, Patrick said with frustration in his voice.
Bummer. What did she say? Pete asked curious. Why would anyone turn Patrick down?
She said the timing was off, blah, blah, blah, Patrick said lying back on his bed.
Dude, Im sorry, Pete said not really knowing what more to say.
Its fine. I just, Patrick sat up searching for the words he wanted to say.
When we were outside, she seemed so real. She has these simple features that make you think, there has to be more, and then she laughs and your whole body fills up with joy because thats how she makes you feel. And I am sounding like a complete psychopath, Patrick said taking note of Petes facial expression.
You totally are crunching on a girl you barely know, Pete said smiling widely.
Shut up, Patrick said laying back down dramatically.
Pete laughed out loudly. Patrick was never the one to be the hopeless romantic; that was Petes job.
Im sorry, but for once the tables have turned, Pete said still laughing.
Well, there is nothing I can do about it. She is obviously repulsed by me, Patrick said staring at his ceiling.
Dont say that because you know its not true. She probably just got a little scared. You are in a rock band. Shes probably just protecting herself, Pete offered.
Patrick sat back up slowly with a pensive look on his face.
Well, Ill probably never see her again, he said focusing on his pessimism.
Not necessarily, Pete chimed.
What are you talking about? Patrick asked confused.
Joe got her friends number, so you should never say never, Pete said patting Patrick on the shoulder as he got up and left his friend with his thoughts.
Patrick sat there for a moment just thinking about what Pete had said. He wondered if he would see this girl again. Was she just protecting herself? If that was the case he couldnt blame her. Its not easy doing the dating thing with the hectic schedule that he and his band mates held.
Patrick couldnt help but get the feeling that there was more to this girl that she was giving off. She was keeping something protected, but he had the suspicion that it wasnt herself that she was protecting.
Patrick laid back down on his bed in yet another dramatic fashion. He really needed to sleep.
-----
Hello? Collette answered the phone.
Silence.
Hello? Collette asked again sounding more than just annoyed.
CoCo? she heard whimpered on the other end.
Morgan? Collette stood up from her couch in fear.
CoCo, she heard her sister cry.
Oh my God. Morgan, where are you? Are you ok? Collette asked rushing towards her purse to go get her sister.
CoCo, she heard her cry again.
Why was she only saying her name? Why wasnt she answering Collettes question?
Morgan, please. You need to tell me where you are, Collette insisted.
Silence.
Morgan! Are you there? Collette asked sounding frantic.
Im sorry, she heard a whisper and the line going dead.
Collette shot up in bed opening her eyes and breathing deeply. She quickly looked next to her and noticed that Jackson wasnt lying next to her anymore. She put her hand up to her beating heart and looked over at her clock. It read 9:00 a.m. She then heard the distant sounds of cartoons being watched in the living room.
Collette sat in bed trying to control her breathing. It had been at least a week since she had her last nightmare. She was grateful that they were becoming further and fewer between because she was sure one of these days her heart was going to leap from her chest. Her dreams were so real. She could swear that she just had her sister on the phone.
She slowly got out of bed and wandered towards the living room where Jackson sat on the floor with his head laying on Roogers stomach.
Morning Jackson, Collette said going into the kitchen in order to get her coffee fix.
Hi, he said unenthusiastically paying more attention to the TV.
Did you sleep alright last night? she asked him taking down a coffee mug from the cupboard.
Mmm hmm, he mumbled.
Collette just shook her head and continued to make her coffee. The boy was too into his cartoons to be bothered at the moment.
-----
Patrick woke up the next morning not feeling any better about the events that had occurred the night before. Of course it didnt help that he had a dream about her. It also didnt help that the dream was of them kissing.
Patrick put his hand up to his lips due to the dream still leaving the impression of her lips on his.
@#%$, he whispered and pulled himself out of bed.
He made his way into the living room to see Pete slouched on the couch watching cartoons.
Morning, Patrick said walking into the kitchen.
There was a non-comprehendible mumble that came from Pete. Patrick took that as a hello.
What are you watching? Patrick asked looking at the cartoon characters on the TV.
All he received in response was another mumble that Patrick did not understand. Patrick just rolled his eyes and went to look for something edible in the kitchen. Pete was stuck at age seven.
Patrick poured himself a bowl of cereal and sat down on the couch next to Pete, who kept his eyes fixated on the television screen. Patrick tried to make sense of what was happening on the screen, but he just couldnt quite get a grasp on it. Suddenly a commercial came on and Pete looked over at Patrick confused.
What? Patrick asked with a mouth full of cereal.
When did you get up? he asked confused.
You are something else, you know that? Patrick responded not really in shock by his friends mannerisms, but more in awe.
So, howd you sleep? Pete asked keeping his eyes on the TV screen waiting for his cartoons to return.
Fine, Patrick said shoving cereal into his mouth in hopes to avoid the subject of sleeping.
You dreamt about her, huh? Pete said fiddling with the remote.
No, Patrick said not sounding very believable.
Right, Pete said now looking at Patrick who had milk dripping down his chin.
Fine, I had a dream about her. What do you want me to say? That we had hot, passionate sex and I woke up with a hard on, Patrick said irritated not by Pete, but by the fact that Pete can read him so well.
If thats the truth, then yes, Pete said still waiting for his cartoons to return.
Well, its not, Patrick grumbled.
Pete, however, did not respond due to the fact that his cartoons had returned.
Its not the truth! We didnt have sex! Patrick yelled trying to get Petes attention.
Mmm hmm, Pete mumbled and turned the volume louder.
Patrick sat in shock for a moment, but shook himself out of his thoughts and went to get ready for the day.
Who didnt you have sex with? Joe asked coming out of his room looking as though he had just woken up.
Never mind, Patrick said going to his room.
Joe just shrugged and joined Pete on the couch to watch cartoons.
-----
Collette sat at her usual spot in the coffee shop with her lap top in front of her. She had tried to do her paper work at work, but she kept getting interrupted, so she retreated to her haven.
It had been a week since she met Patrick, and she hasnt been able to get her mind off of him. What was wrong with her? She has never let someone take this effect over her before.
She had also been having nightmares every night that week, which was causing her to get little to no sleep. She knew why she was having the nightmares, but she tried to avoid thinking about it. They will just go away like they always did.
Collette stopped typing and took off her glasses. Her eyes hurt from lack of sleep and staring at the computer screen for over an hour. She looked at her watch and decided she would need to go get Jackson from daycare soon.
Collette started to rub the brim of her nose. She could feel a headache coming along.
Are you alright? She heard a mans voice causing her head to perk up.
Patrick? she asked looking up at the man in the hat with a concerned look on his face.
Collette was sure Patrick would never want to talk to her after the way she turned him down, let alone be concerned for her.
Hey. This is strange. Im not stalking you, I promise, he said laughing slightly. I just wanted some coffee, and to get away from Pete, he admitted.
Collette smiled tiredly but didnt respond.
Well, I can see you are busy. I didnt mean to bother you, he started feeling awkward from the silence.
Actually, I could use a break. Do you want to sit down? she asked interrupting him.
Patrick stopped talking and looked at her thoughtfully. One moment she wants to get as far away from him and the next she is asking him to sit down and join her.
I understand if you need to get back to what ever you were doing. I just thought Id offer, she said noticing that he wasnt responding to her previous request.
No, Id love to join you, he said sitting down.
Collette smiled and shut her laptop.
Thanks, I needed the break, she said sighing heavily.
Work? he asked pointing to the computer that she had pushed aside.
Paper work. The one thing I hate about my job, she said smiling down into her mug of coffee.
Its a given. Every job needs its pros and cons, he said back paying close attention to his coffee as well.
Collette just nodded. She didnt realize just how tired she was until that moment.
Patrick, Im sorry about last weekend, she said quietly looking him in the eyes.
Patrick noticed that she almost looked ashamed of what she had done, and he suddenly felt bad for being so rude to her after she had turned him down.
Hey, dont worry about it. Were adults here. Its no big deal, he said trying brush it off like his heart hadnt been trampled on.
No, I feel like I owe you a better explanation, she said shaking her head and looking down at the table.
You said it yourself; some things are better left unsaid. You dont owe me anything, Patrick said wanting to get off the subject.
He wanted to talk about anything other than being rejected at the moment.
Im so tired, she said mainly to herself.
It was then that Patrick noticed the large bags that were under her eyes. She did look tired, but he had a feeling she was tired in more ways than one.
Are you ok? Patrick asked reaching across the table and lightly touching her arm.
Im sorry. Im fine. I just got caught up in my own drama for a moment, she said slightly looking at her watch.
@#%$! she yelled causing Patrick to jump back slightly and an elderly couple to look their way with a disapproving faces.
What? Patrick asked leaning back in his chair.
Im late! Hes going to kill me, she said picking up her stuff and throwing it in her bag.
Patrick wasnt sure if he had heard her correctly. Did she just say that hes going to kill her? Who is he?
Well, can I give you a ride somewhere? he asked standing up as she did.
No, no. Ive got my car, she said searching her pockets for her keys.
Patrick just stood back as she frantically scribbled something on a napkin.
Here, she said thrusting the napkin at him.
He looked at the writing and then back up at her confused.
Its a reminder. Meet me here on Wednesday at 2:00 p.m. I have to go. Sorry, she said rushing out of the caf like a tornado.
Patrick watched as she scampered to her car and pull away. He then looked back down at the napkin that had the date and time scribbled on it.
Well, it wasnt exactly the number he was hoping for, but it would have to do for now.
-----
Collette ran up to the daycare providers house. Jackson hated it when she was late. Due to their past, he constantly worried that something had happened to her if she showed up late.
She burst through the door to see Jackson standing there with his shoes on and his arms folded across his chest.
Sorry, she said kneeling down to give him a hug.
He just kept his stance and stared at her; his accusing blue eyes gazing into hers.
Im sorry, she said again.
Its fine, he said nonchalantly and walked out the door to the car.
I tried to tell him that you had a good excuse as to why you were late, Jan, the daycare provider, had said shrugging her shoulders.
Thanks. Sorry about that, Collette said standing up fully and walking out the door.
Jackson was already sitting in the back seat of the Explorer waiting for her to buckle him up safely in his seat. He was mad. He definitely got that trait from his mother.
-----
Patrick walked back to the studio with a grin on his face.
Whats the story? Pete asked from his position on the couch with a notebook and pencil in hand.
Nothing, Patrick said sitting down next to him unable to get rid of the grin on his face.
Bull @#%$, Pete said back staring at Patrick.
I ran into her at the coffee shop, Patrick said as if it were no big deal.
No way, Pete said not believing his friend.
Way, Patrick said sounding like Wayne from Waynes World.
She must think you are some creep following her around LA, Pete said shaking his head and doodling in his notebook.
She doesnt think that, Patrick said smiling still.
What happened? Pete asked looking up now.
She told me to meet her at the shop on Wednesday at two, he stated.
Really. Well, there ya go Patty-cakes, Pete said hitting Patrick slightly on the arm.
Patrick just glanced at Pete and stood up to work some more on their record ignoring the fact that he had called him by one of the many hated nicknames that Pete had given him.
-----
Jackson sulked in his room until Collette called him for dinner.
I said I was sorry, Jacks. What do you want from me? she asked as he ate his dinner in silence.
You promised me that you would never be late, he said quietly.
I know, but sometimes I get late. It was an accident, she said to him.
She saw him take a deep breath.
I know. I was just scared. I dont like feeling scared, he said pushing his food from side to side.
Me either. Thats why I am going to try to not be late any more, but I cant promise that it wont happen again, Collette said amazed by this kid sitting in front of her.
He just nodded his head and continued to eat.
Hey, want to watch Lilo and Stitch? Collette asked trying to lighten the mood.
Lilo and Stitch was her and Jacksons favorite Disney movie. Stitch reminded her of the boys that she worked with and Jackson thought Stitch was well, a stitch.
Ok, he said lightly and smiling up at her.
Collette smiled back. She swore his smile could cure world hunger. It sure did cure all her ailments.
Ok, go get the movie set up. Ill clear our plates, Collette said picking up her plate.
Jackson just jumped off his chair and ran into the living room.
------
Patrick sat in the caf with his own laptop in front of him. Pete was pestering him so much about this pseudo date, that he left an hour early to get away from him and to work on his own projects.
Well, it seems that great minds think alike, Collette said standing in front of Patrick with her own laptop swung over her shoulder.
Patrick looked up into her eyes and smiled. Collette smiled back and sat down.
I just couldnt handle the little one today, Patrick said closing his laptop.
Pete? Collette asked.
She didnt know the boys that well, but she kind of picked up that Pete was the kid at heart in the group due to some of Patricks comments.
Bingo, he said laughing slightly.
Well, you should try having 10 of them running a muck by your office, she said taking a deep breath.
Sometimes I feel like there are 10 Petes running a muck in the studio. I dont quite know where the spurts of energy come from, but when they do, they become unbearable, Patrick said shaking his head in disbelief.
Wow, 10 Petes. Sounds scary, she said laughing trying to picture it.
Very. Can I get you some coffee, Patrick asked taking notice that she hadnt ordered anything yet.
I can get it. I just wanted to set my stuff down, Collette said reaching for her purse.
No, I insist, he said standing up.
Ok, Ill have a mocha with a mint shot in it then, she said shrugging.
Coming right up, he said in good spirits.
Collette relaxed a little in her seat as Patrick went up to the counter to order her drink. She debated all morning whether or not she was actually going to go through with meeting him, but as soon as she saw that smile on his face she knew she made the right decision.
She didnt really know why she was doing this, however. She still felt adamant that she could not get into a relationship at this point in her life, but Patrick was someone who she felt so comfortable talking with. It was nice to have an adult conversation with someone other than people she works with.
Here ya go, Patrick said setting the mocha in front of Collette causing her to break out of her thoughts.
Thank you, she said putting it in her hands and smelling it.
She loved the smell of coffee. She looked up and noticed Patrick giving her an odd glance from above his glasses.
What? she asked.
You could be in a commercial for Folgers Coffee, he said still giving her that goofy look.
Collette just stared at him for a moment before she burst out laughing. She hadnt thought about it before, but she totally did that clich coffee smell.
Patricks face lit up when he heard her laugh again.
I have to tell you this, but I love your laugh, he said in admiration.
No you dont. Its loud and annoying, she said stifling her laugh to a giggle.
Its not annoying and the fact that its loud shows that you arent afraid to laugh and be care free, he pointed out. Its refreshing, he added.
You think? she asked blushing now.
Yeah. Its the first thing I noticed about you when you were at that fair thing, he said taking a sip of his coffee.
Patrick wasnt sure what it was about this girl that caused him to talk so much, but he liked it. It was almost like witch craft.
Thats embarrassing. You probably were all the way across that fair and heard me laughing, she said looking down.
No, it was nice, he said simply.
Collette looked up into Patricks eyes and smiled at him. What was it about this boy that caused her to melt every time she made eye-contact with him?
-----
So you have to tell me what you are up to, Wren said coming into Collettes office with determination written all over her face.
Like at this very moment? Collette asked turning from her computer.
No, I mean like where do you go every Wednesday afternoon for the past three weeks, Wren said sitting in one of the chairs that Collette had for the boys to sit in.
I told you where I go. I go get coffee and do my paper work, Collette said casually.
Well, thats crap. Youve had this smirk on your face that Ive never seen before, so either you are in love with someone that works at the coffee shop or youve had sex, Wren whispered the last part being that Collettes door was propped open and her office was on the unit floor.
Neither actually, Collette said smiling at her friend.
Collette, you have to tell me. Im dying here, girl, Wren said whining.
Fine, but you cant tell anybody, ok, Collette said breaking down.
Promise, Wren said holding her hand in the air.
Ive been meeting Patrick at the coffee shop every Wednesday, Collette said leaning in closely to Wren, so she wouldnt have to say it so loud.
Shut Up! Wren yelled causing a boy who was walking by to stop and look in the office briefly, but continue on his way.
Wren, quiet, Collette scolded.
Sorry, but wow. Are you guys dating? she asked in a girly squeal.
No. We are just friends enjoying one anothers company, and that is how it is going to stay, so keep you little butt out of it, Collette said pointing a finger at Wren.
Oh no way, honey. Ive seen that look on your face. You are falling for him, Wren said shaking her head in an all knowing fashion.
Wren, stop it. Im enjoying his company. Thats it, Collette said sternly.
I think youre trying to convince yourself more than me, Wren said in a sing song way as she got up to leave the room.
Im not listening, Collette turned back to her computer and mimicked Wrens voice tone.
She just heard Wrens laugh as she walked out of her office and into the hallway. Collette sat at her computer smiling to herself.
She loved the conversations that she and Patrick had when they got together. They talked about movies that they currently saw to the classic ones they couldnt get enough of. They shared their music interests, and Patrick tried to convert her into an Elvis Costello fan, unsuccessfully. They complained to each other about the stresses of work. Even though they each shared an undying love for their work, there still was the fact that they lead stressful lives.
Collette hadnt been this happy since before she left for California. It was nice to finally get her lingering worries to subside for the two hours that she met Patrick in that coffee shop once a week.
-----
Alright, its been three weeks. Tell me about her, Pete said walking up to Patrick who was daydreaming in the kitchen.
What? Patrick asked breaking out of his thoughts.
I wanna know what about her makes you like this, Pete said sitting at the breakfast bar.
I dont know. Everything, Patrick said not being able to put her into words.
Everything? You sound smitten, Pete said sounding slightly shocked.
Im not smitten. We are just friends, Patrick said standing up straight to reinforce the just friends part of his statement.
Mmm hmm. Is this by her terms or yours? Pete asked tilting his head slightly.
Patrick slouched lightly wondering how in the hell he did it.
Hers, he said quietly.
I knew it. Patricks a smitten kitten, Pete said bouncing a little at his rhyme.
You suck, Patrick said walking away form Pete.
Pete just burst out laughing and Patrick couldnt help but think of her. Thats all he ever did, he thought about her.
Collette tried to explain in further detail the reasons why they had to stay just friends, but Patrick didnt really understand. She told him that she had just moved to California and that she was working on getting settled into her life there. She also told him that by the time she would be settled, he would more than likely be long gone.
Patrick couldnt argue with that. They were getting ready to release a record in the early part of the year, and then a tour would be the next step. So, Patrick just opted for the just friends situation for the time being. At least he got to enjoy her company.
Dude! I want McDonalds! Patrick heard Pete roar from the kitchen.
-----
Jackson, are you about ready to go? Collette asked the little boy as he played in the pool of plastic balls.
Fifteen more minutes, CoCo, he giggled as he sunk deeper and deeper into the pool.
Collette just rolled her eyes at the boy.
Ten, she said sitting back down in the uncomfortable plastic chair and kept a close eye on the boy.
Collette? she heard her name being called.
She looked up and saw Patrick walking towards her with a surprised expression on his face.
Patrick, what are you doing here? she asked standing up in a nervous fashion.
Pete wanted food, Patrick said pointing to Pete who went straight to the counter and was already ordering his food. I obviously dont need this stuff, he said patting his stomach.
Stop that. You look fine, she said rolling her eyes.
Yup, Jackson definitely got the rolling eyes thing from her. Oh no, Jackson. Collette suddenly tensed up. She never told Patrick about Jackson.
What are you doing here? he asked shocked that McDonalds would be a restaurant of choice for her.
Well, I, um, Collette stumbled over her words.
I love the balls! Jackson yelled running up to Collette and hugging her legs tightly.
Patrick jumped back slightly and looked at the little blonde boy who attached himself lovingly to Collettes legs. He looked as though he was seeing an alien attack her.
He loves the balls, Collette offered what sounded more like a question as to why she was at McDonalds.
Patrick was still in shock. He didnt quite know what to think.
Hey Patty-Cakes, you going to eat or what? Hey, Collette. Hey! Pete said walking up to Patrick with a full tray first noticing Collette and then noticing Jackson.
Collette wanted to laugh at their reactions, but felt the time wasnt exactly right. I mean, Jackson was only a child. He was nothing to be afraid of.
Is he yours? Patrick asked quietly.
Hes mine, Collette said patting him on his head.
Patrick looked at Collette and then down at Jackson. Pete couldnt stand the silence, so he set his food on the table and bent down to Jacksons level.
Hey there, buddy. Whats your name? he asked the blonde hair, blue eyed boy.
Jackson, he said shyly trying to hide behind Collettes legs.
Im Pete. Put er there, Pete said holding his hand out for Jackson to slap it.
Jackson looked at Petes hand and then up to Collette as if to ask for permission to slap his hand.
Go ahead, Collette nodded down at the boy.
Jackson got a huge smirk and slapped Petes hand hard.
Ow! You are a toughie. Thats going to leave a mark, Pete joked with Jackson causing him to giggle loudly.
Patrick watched the interaction in awe. He still couldnt believe that after all of their conversations from the caf, the fact that Collette had a child never came up. Suddenly pieces of the puzzle were starting to fit together. Collette is trying to protect her son.
Patrick looked over into Collettes eyes as she stared at him with a sad gaze as if trying to say she was sorry.
Jackson, this is Patrick. Patrick, this is Jackson, Collette introduced the two not taking her eyes away from Patricks.
She suddenly felt as though she had betrayed him by not telling him about Jackson. She should have told him.
Hi, Patrick, Jackson said looking up at him. His r sounded slightly like a w and it made Patrick smile down on him.
Hey there, Jackson. Its nice to meet you, he said putting his hand out for Jackson to shake.
Jackson looked at his hand and grabbed his pointer finger to shake it. He nodded and looked up at Patrick smiling. Patrick started laughing. This boy was adorable.
Well, Jackson. We better get going, Collette said turning towards the table to grab her purse.
Ah CoCo, cant we stay and play with Pete and Patrick? Jackson asked in a whine like state.
Not tonight, kiddo. Next time, okay? she asked bending down to pick him up.
Okay, he said sounding bummed.
Well see you boys later, Collette said giving Patrick one last sympathetic glance before she started to walk away.
See ya later alligator! Pete yelled with his mouth full of fries.
After while crocodile, Jackson waved struggling with getting crocodile out of his four-year-old mouth.
Patrick just waved still in shock. He turned to look at Pete who was shoving mass quantities of food into his mouth.
Whoa, Pete said simply and shrugging.
Did he just call her CoCo? Patrick asked suddenly confused.
-----
Collette sat in the coffee shop waiting for Patrick to arrive biting her nails nervously. She wasnt sure if he was even going to show up, but she was sure that if he did, he was going to ask questions about Jackson.
She heard the bell on the door ring and snapped her head up. There he was, walking towards her. Collette just sat there staring at him not able to breathe.
Hey, he said quietly sitting down next to her.
Hi, she said putting her hands down into her lap. I didnt think you were going to show, she said looking down now.
Why would you think something like that? he asked sounding surprised.
Because I didnt tell you about Jackson, Collette said looking Patrick in the eyes now.
Well, I was a little shocked, Patrick said shifting in his seat.
And you have every right to be. Im sorry I didnt tell you, she said folding her hands in front of her.
Why didnt you tell me? he asked wanting to know why Jackson never came up.
I dont know. I guess I just wanted to protect him, Collette said shrugging.
Protect him or yourself? Patrick interjected.
Collettes head snapped up. Patrick almost sounded bitter at the fact that Collette hadnt told him about Jackson. Could she blame him?
Look, Patrick, theres a lot that you dont know about my past, so stay out of it, Collette said sternly. She hated using that voice, which was perfected while working at the boys home.
Patrick just shook his head and started to stand up.
Where are you going? she asked grabbing onto his wrist.
Forget this, Collette. You obviously dont want me to be in your life, so Im going to do you a favor, and leave, he said standing up straight and peering down on her.
Patrick, stop. Dont be like that. Sit down, please, Collette said quietly trying to get Patrick to not create a scene.
You have my number, he said simply and left.
Collette sat there in shock. What had just happened? That was the last thing that she thought would happen. Was this man really out of her life now?
-----
Patrick walked up to the house that he and the boys were renting while they worked in the studio. He couldnt believe what he had just done. Was he crazy? He was completely head over heels for this girl and he just left her sitting there in the coffee shop. The disappointment in her eyes was enough to make him drop to his knees.
He kept telling himself that he was trying to make a point. He liked her and she liked him. She just needed to accept that fact. She was going to call him. She had to call him. Was she going to call him?
Patrick went straight into his room not wanting to talk to anyone, he just wanted to play his acoustic and let his mind shut off.
Patrick, Pete said from outside the bedroom door.
No such luck.
What? he asked annoyed. Why couldnt this boy just leave him alone?
Pete took that as a cue to come in.
What are you doing home so early? he asked putting his hands in his pockets.
I left, Patrick said simply strumming at his guitar.
And why? Pete asked.
Because, Patrick said trying to sound uninterested in this conversation so Pete would leave him alone.
Come on, Pete said grabbing Patricks wallet off of his desk.
What? Patrick asked looking at Pete in shock.
Were going to the studio, Pete said simply grabbing the guitar out of Patricks hands now. A risky move, he knew, but he didnt care.
What are you talking about? Patrick asked irritated.
Your feeling @#%$, so this is the perfect time to record some stuff. Ill be in the car, he said and walked out of the room.
Patrick sat on his bed in shock. Pete had lost it. He had definitely lost it.
Patrick laughed to himself for a moment and then got up to join his friend. Well, maybe Pete did have a point.
-----
CoCo? Is everything ok? Jackson asked as Collette came to pick him up early from daycare.
Yeah, kiddo, everythings fine, she said grabbing his hand and walking him to the car.
Do we have to go? Did the bad people find us? he asked sounding worried.
No. No bad people have found us. I just wanted to come get you early, she said buckling him into his car seat.
The little boy just nodded but stared into Collettes eyes. He wasnt buying what she was saying. Collette ignored his prying eyes and got into the Explorer.
Collette couldnt get the look of frustration from Patrick out of her mind. She didnt mean to frustrate him, she just had so much to loose. But what about all that she would gain? Collette gripped the steering wheel tighter as her heart and mind fought with each other. Patrick was the best thing that has come along in a long time; she would be insane to just let him go.
However, he was in the spotlight. Could he protect her enough to keep pictures of her and Jackson out of the tabloids? Could their relationship remain a secret?
Could he handle all of her baggage? No, certainly not.
Could she handle always wondering what if? No, certainly not.
Jackson had fallen asleep on the way home, so Collette carried him inside and laid him down in her bed. She laid there next to him and watched him sleep. She brushed his blonde locks out of his face and smiled to herself. Soon Collette had fallen asleep next to the most important thing in her life.
-----
Patrick, that was awesome. Lets call it a night, ok? Pete said as he walked into the recording room.
Patrick just nodded and marked something on the sheet of paper that was in front of him. He took his headphones off and set them on the stand.
They drove home in silence.
Thanks for that, Patrick said breaking the silence that was comfortable for them.
Hey, thank you. You sounded great today, Pete said not taking his eyes off the road.
It felt good to get some of that out, Patrick said taking a deep breath.
Do you want to talk about it now? Pete asked glancing slightly at Patrick.
I was an idiot, Patrick said staring out the window.
Why do you say that? Pete asked knowing full well that Patrick was not an idiot.
Because I got irritated with the fact that she didnt tell me about Jackson. She got angry and practically scolded me, and I just left. Just like that. I stood up and walked out, Patrick said resting his head on the back of the seat.
She got mad at you? Pete asked confused.
That wasnt what caused me to leave, though. I left because she said something along the lines of how I dont know about her past and how I should stay out of it. So I took that as a cue that she doesnt want me in her life at all, Patrick said fidgeting with his hands.
Whoa, really? Pete asked shocked.
I pretty much put the ball in her court telling her that she had my number, he said and paused thinking.
Shes gonna call, right? Patrick asked looking at Petes profile.
Yeah, how could she not, Pete swallowed hard and smiled while looking over at Patrick.
Patrick just nodded. He knew that voice. Pete wasnt so sure if she was going to call.
-----
This is Kiefer. Keifer, this is my CoCo, Morgan said introducing her sister to her new arm candy of the month.
Nice to meet you, Collette said politely as she shook the mans hand.
He just nodded towards her. He gripped Collettes hand tightly and she widened her eyes slightly at the feeling of coldness she got from this man. She could read people quite well, and she read nothing but evil all over this man.
CoCo, Im going to introduce Keifer to mom and grandma, quick. Well be right back, Morgan said happily.
Collette watched as she saw her sister take Kiefers hand in hers. She saw the way she looked up at his 62 frame adoringly. She saw how she hung on every word that he spoke. Morgan was completely head over heels for this guy. Why did Collette have the feeling like her chest was caving in when she talked to him?
Morgan came jaunting over to Collette with a giddy expression on her face.
Come walk with me, Morgan said linking her arm with her older sisters.
Wheres Keifer? Collette asked looking behind Morgan.
Talking to dad. You know, the talk, Morgan said leading them down the driveway.
The one about him having a shot gun and a shovel? Collette joked.
Thats the one, Morgan said kicking at rocks on the gravel road that they walked down.
You seem happy, Collette said after a moment of silence.
I am, Morgan said keeping her giddy smile plastered on her face.
Im happy for you, Collette said squeezing her younger sisters shoulder.
CoCo, you know that means the world to me. But do you know what would make me the happiest person ever? she asked stopping to look at Collette.
What? Collette asked confused.
You actually being happy, she said grabbing Collette by the shoulders.
I am happy, Collette laughed slightly.
No, youre not. Ever since Jeremy, you havent been happy, Morgan stated.
Collette just put her head down at the sound of his name. She didnt want to think about him.
CoCo, why do you let him do this to you? Morgan asked trying to bend down to look Collette in the eyes.
I love him, she said simply looking up into her eyes.
I know, but he doesnt make you happy. CoCo, you deserve more than anyone else in the world to be happy. You deserve to have what you want, for once. Stop worrying about everyone else and do something for yourself, CoCo. Be happy.
Collette opened her eyes quickly. Her sisters voice was still ringing in her ears. Be happy.
Collette vividly remembers that day; just as it was yesterday because that was the last day she had actually seen her sister truly happy. Keifer was a good for nothing scumbag, who turned everyones lives into a living hell.
Collette used to wish for time to go back, so she could stop her sister from meeting him. Collette would then take it back because if she were to turn back time, she wouldnt have Jackson.
Be happy.
Collette jumped out of bed noticing that Jackson wasnt there. She walked into the living room and saw him coloring and glancing at the TV every now and then.
Hey Jacks, Collette said going through her purse.
Hi CoCo. Wanna color? he asked handing her a blue color.
In a minute. I have to make a phone call. What do you feel about having company over on Friday? she asked the young boy.
-----
You are never going to believe this, Patrick said walking into Petes room without knocking.
Pete turned from his laptop and looked up at Patrick. He had a goofy grin on his face, so he imagined it had to do with Collette.
She called you, Pete said simply.
Dude, how the hell do you do that? Patrick asked shocked.
Patrick, I can read you like a playboy, Pete said leaning forward in his chair.
Patrick just rolled his eyes.
Anyway, Collette called and invited you and me over for dinner on Friday, Patrick said excitedly.
Pete just made an odd face as though he was thinking.
Why both of us? he asked.
Im not sure. Maybe she thought you would be a good playmate for Jackson, Patrick said back.
Hardy-har-har, Pete said turning back to his computer.
So youre coming with me, Patrick said making it a statement rather than a question.
I dunno, I have plans, Pete said not looking away from the computer screen.
Pete, Patrick said seriously.
Pete looked over at Patrick and saw the pleading in his eyes.
Yeah, Ill go with, he said nodding at his friend.
-----
She sure does live in the middle of nowhere, Pete said as they pulled down the long winding driveway that was surrounded by woods.
Yeah, who knew places like these existed so close to L.A., Patrick said looking around him.
The boys walked up to the fenced in area of the yard.
It sure is peaceful, Pete said reaching over the fence to unlock it looking around him.
He jumped back and almost fell over when two wolf-like looking dogs started barking, growling and snapping at his arm.
Holy @#%$! he yelled.
Both he and Patrick took many steps backwards as the dogs continued their show of anger and protection.
Nala! Simba! Down, Collette commanded walking out of the door towards the gate.
Both dogs obeyed and sat down in silence.
Good dogs, Collette said giving them a treat.
Good dogs? They nearly ate my arm, Pete said in shock.
Well, I cant scold them for doing their job, Collette said simply as she opened the gate.
Pete looked at Patrick wide-eyed and Patrick just shrugged. She had a point.
Come on in, boys, Collette said allowing them to walk into the gated area.
Pete walked in, but tried to walk as far around the dogs as possible.
Pete, they wont hurt you, Collette said laughing.
Right, he said and stopped walking suddenly causing Patrick to bump into him.
Dude? Patrick asked irritated.
Pete turned around and pointed his finger towards Collette.
Youre not a vampire, are you? he asked suspiciously.
Pete, Patrick said not amused.
A what? Collette asked confused.
You know. You got these two Hounds of Hell here guarding your place, he said pointing to the two dogs that were licking their chops at him.
Pete, stop, Patrick said sounding embarrassed.
Collette just burst out laughing causing Patrick and Pete to look at her confused.
The Lost Boys. Good movie, but no, Im not a vampire. Sorry to disappoint you, she said and started walking back towards the house.
Patrick smacked Pete on the arm when Collettes back was turned. Pete just looked at Patrick as to say, What did I do?
Im impressed you know that movie, Pete said following Collette up the stairs.
Are you kidding? Its a classic, she said opening her front door for the boys to walk in.
She smiled at Patrick as he walked past her. She wondered why he was so quiet today.
She shut the door behind the boys and pushed buttons on the white pad next to the door signaling that she had turned the alarm system on.
Patrick took note of this.
Pete! Jackson said running into the entryway with a white sash tied around his head and Rooger following close behind.
He let out one low bark, but left it at that.
Hey there, ninja, Pete said leaning down to block him from running into his privates as little kids tend to do.
Wanna play karate? he asked excited.
I dont know if Pete should play Karate. You might hurt him, Patrick said looking down at Jackson.
Really? Jackson asked concerned.
Yeah, Petes kind of a weenie when it comes to that, Patrick said noticing Pete giving him a not impressed look.
Jackson just giggled.
Patrick said that Pete was a weenie, he squealed.
Thanks, Pete said sarcastically.
Sorry, Patrick said laughing.
Jacks, why dont you go get washed up for dinner and you and the boys can play after we eat, Collette said pushing him slightly towards his room.
Ok, CoCo! he yelled as he was halfway to his room.
There it was again. Jackson called her CoCo.
So a tour? she asked clasping her hands in front of her.
Sure, Patrick said as Pete just shrugged.
Collette showed them around the homey residence noticing how Pete and Patrick were taking everything in.
And this is Jacksons room, Collette said peering in seeing Jackson playing with his trucks on the floor.
Pete walked inside and looked around.
Very cool, he said looking at the toys. Patrick just smiled over at Collette who smiled back.
Jackson are you all ready for dinner? she asked him.
Yeah, Im starving, he said dramatically.
Me too, Pete said rubbing his stomach.
They all sat in the dinning room talking about nothing in particular. Collette mainly focused the attention on the boys and their record.
Pete asked Jackson questions about his favorite cartoon characters causing Jackson to get excited; his big blue eyes getting even bigger as he talked with his hands. That was something that Collette did.
Remember that CoCo? Jackson asked as he finished a story about Rooger chasing a bunny.
I sure do, Collette said laughing at this young, animated boy.
CoCo, can I show Pete my room now? Jackson asked after he had finished drinking his milk. He still had the milk mustache on his face.
Sure, but go wash you hands first, ok? she said smiling at him.
Ok! he said jumping off his chair and running towards the bathroom.
You dont have to play in his room if you dont want to, Collette said laughing.
Naw, I would love to, Pete said smiling at her.
He knew that Patrick wanted more alone time with Collette, so he would help out in any way possible.
Why does he call you CoCo? Patrick asked.
Pete dropped his fork. That was forward, especially for Patrick.
What? Collette asked sounding nervous.
Well, I mean, why doesnt he call you mom? Patrick asked.
It was obvious that he had been pondering this for quite some time and couldnt come up with a reasonable explanation.
Well, because Im not his mother, Collette said simply.
This caused Petes jaw to nearly fall to the floor.
But at McDonalds you said he was yours, Patrick asked as his brain began to hurt.
Hes mine, legally, she said back quietly.
Pete! Wanna go play now? Jackson asked running into the dinning room.
-----
Patrick and Collette sat in the living room drinking wine listen to Pete and Jackson laughing out loud at what ever game they were playing on Jacksons gaming system.
Whose is he? Patrick asked breaking the silence that had surrounded them.
My sisters, Collette said quietly.
Can I asked what happened? he asked knowing he was treading on thin ice.
She died over a year ago. The last thing she wanted was for Jackson to go to his father, so she named me his legal guardian. She called me CoCo, so that is why he calls me CoCo, Collette explained.
Why werent you more open about him? Patrick asked.
I know you think that Im trying to protect myself, but Im really trying to protect him, she said turning slightly so she could face him.
Protect him from what? he asked doing the same.
Heartbreak. He gets attached to you and then you leave. Thats hard for a boy his age, she said talking quietly.
How do you know how things are going to end up if you dont even give it a chance? Patrick asked in almost a pleading way.
He knew there was more than what Collette was leading on.
Im scared, she whispered looking into his eyes.
The unknown is always scary, but isnt always wondering even scarier? Patrick asked.
Collette pondered what Patrick had just said. He was right, and that was why she called him in the first place. She couldnt live with always wondering. Besides, her sister wants her to be happy, she always had.
Collette looked up into those eyes that she had found herself get lost in before. She found herself wondering what it would be like to kiss those lips and to wake up in those arms again.
Things are going to be complicated, she said shaking her thoughts from her head.
When are they not? he asked leaning forward slightly.
He wanted nothing more than to kiss her at that moment. The look on her face made him want her even more. It was the look of struggling with wanting and uncertainty that caused him to reach up and gently touch her cheek.
Collette put her hand over his and leaned into his hand. She cant remember the last time she had the gentle touch of a males hand caress her cheek. It was something that she longed for and now that she had it, she didnt want to let it go.
Lets take things slowly, and see where they go, Patrick whispered leaning forward even more.
Collette was unable to take her eyes from his. She just nodded and leaned forward as if she was hypnotized as well.
Patricks lips met Collettes as they shared a sweet innocent kiss. Collette felt sparks go from her lips straight down to her toes and she was sure Patrick felt it too.
-----
Soooo, Pete said as he drove down the driveway from Collettes house.
So, what? Patrick asked trying to hide the huge smile that was on his face.
You know, Pete said trying to catch glimpses of Patrick.
Know what? Patrick asked being a smart-ass.
You kissed her, Pete stated.
See, I never have to tell you anything because by some force unknown to man, you always know! Patrick said laughing.
I knew it! Dude, it was written all over your face, Pete said laughing loudly.
What ever, Patrick said sitting back in his seat.
So, now what? Are you guys like boyfriend girlfriend? he asked in a playful manner.
I dunno. I said we were going to take things slowly because she seems to be mending some serious wounds, Patrick said sounding concerned.
Yeah, what is the story with her? Pete asked obviously missing the informational conversation due to entertaining Jackson, or Jackson entertaining him.
She said that her sister passed away and Jacksons father is apparently a dead beat, so Collette got custody of him, Patrick said shrugging.
Thats all she said? Pete asked.
Basically, Patrick nodded.
Well, there is obviously more to that story, Pete said incredulously.
Patrick just nodded. He was deep in thought. What if what she was hiding was too much for him to handle?
-----
Go on a date with me, Patrick said as he sat across from Collette at the coffee shop.
It had been two weeks since that evening at Collettes and they still havent done anything together other than meet at the coffee shop. It was time that they started acting like a dating couple.
Are you asking me or telling me? she asked playfully.
Both? he asked simply scrunching up his face slightly.
When? she asked trying not to sound too eager.
Friday, he blurted.
I dont have a babysitter, she said simply shaking her head no.
Pete will baby-sit, Patrick said hoping to God that Pete didnt have any plans for Friday.
Right. The man who needs a babysitter himself, watching my child? I dont think so, Collette was only half kidding.
What if Andy and Joe babysat too? Patrick offered. He would do everything in his power to get this girl on a date; a real date.
Collette was seriously considering allowing the boys to watch Jackson. What was the worst thing that could happen? She found herself cringing at the thought. She heard stories about those boys and she didnt really trust them with Jacksons life.
Her negative thoughts were quickly replaced by happy thoughts when she saw the look of hope on Patricks face. Her heart melted as it had done so many times before. This boy really wanted to take her on a date. How could she say no?
Alright, but if one hair on his head is harmed, Im blaming you, Collette said pointing her finger at him.
I take full responsibility, Patrick held his hand up in the air as if he were swearing on the Bible.
Collette smiled warmly, but couldnt shake the feeling that something bad may happen. Pete is practically a child himself, and what do Joe and Andy know of child care? It will be more like Jackson babysitting them.
-----
Guess who has plans for Friday, Patrick said happily as he walked into the living room where all his band mates sat doing various activities.
You, Pete said not looking up from his sidekick.
Yup, and you three as well, Patrick said nodding with a closed smile plastered on his face.
Really? And what would that be? Joe asked with the gaming system controller gripped tightly in his hands as he tried to beat Andy at what ever game they were playing.
Babysitting, Patrick stated.
As if on cue, all boys heads shot up and looked at Patrick with shock. Petes sidekick buzzed and a crash and scream was heard on the TV signaling someone just died.
Fun, huh? Patrick said trying to break the silence.
Im not babysitting, Pete said laughing slightly thinking it was a joke.
Well, not just you, Patrick said explaining the situation. Joe and Andy too.
No way, Im too old to baby-sit, Andy said shaking his head and leaning back into the couch.
Yeah, man. What are we? Thirteen? Joe asked throwing his controller down.
Come on you guys. I want to take Collette out on a nice evening, alone. We need a babysitter. Please, Patrick whined.
Dude, Ill baby-sit for you. Just stop with the whining, Pete said going back to his sidekick.
There, now you have a babysitter, Andy pointed and positioned himself to begin to play video games again.
Well, actually, Collette doesnt trust Pete to baby-sit by himself, Patrick said quickly.
Again all the boys heads popped up at this and gave Patrick another look of shock.
Well, can you blame her? Patrick asked shocked that they were shocked.
The guys looked around at each other and ended up shrugging.
Not really, Pete said focusing on his sidekick once again.
So, will you guys do this for me? Please? Patrick asked sincerely.
Sure, Patrick. We will help you out this time, Andy said quietly.
He didnt know much about this Collette girl, but he knew that Patrick was finding a liking for her. He also knew that if he were in that situation, Patrick would be there to help him out as well.
-----
I dont wanna die! Joe yelled as Simba and Nala continued their barking at the four boys who stood back with fear.
Jackson ran out of the house with treats in his hands making sure to reward the dogs for being good.
Hey Jackson, Pete said happily that the two dogs were sitting and eating their treats quietly.
Hi Pete! he said happily unlocking the gate and allowing the boys to come in.
Everyone started to enter except for Joe who stood back with fear in his eyes.
Hey Pete, Jackson said grabbing Petes sleeve.
Yeah? he asked looking down at the boy.
Is that guy gonna come in? he asked giving Joe an odd look.
Joe, come on. Stop being a wuss, Pete said in a commanding voice.
Jackson giggled loudly.
What are you laughing at? Pete asked picking up Jackson, flinging him over his shoulder, and running towards the house with Jackson squealing loudly.
Joe slowly and cautiously walked into the gated area and quietly closed the gate thinking that if he made any sudden movements or noises the dogs would attack. Patrick noticed that Joe was not with them, so he looked back to see Joe practically tip-toeing around the dogs. He just laughed to himself.
Joe didnt move too fast, but when one dog let out a sound he ran as fast as his legs could take him making it to the house before anyone else.
What is he running for? Andy asked Patrick as Joe ran into the house.
God only knows, Patrick muttered.
The boys walked into the house to see Joe with his hands on his knees breathing deeply.
Joe, I know the answer already, but are you on drugs? Andy asked him.
Joe just looked up at him out of breath not answering.
Rooger came bounding into the entryway with a loud single bark as he always did.
GOD NO! Joe yelled running behind Andy.
Whats going on? Collette asked walking into the entryway slowly.
Patrick looked over at her and almost let his jaw drop. She was dressed in a cute red strapless dress with a black shall over her arms. She wore her hair down letting it cascade down her shoulders.
Joes afraid of your dogs, Andy explained.
Joe, they wont hurt you, Collette said laughing at the look on his face. Especially this one, she said taking Roogers head between her hands and rubbing his ears.
Joe slowly moved from behind Andy and smiled slightly.
Just let him sniff you, Collette offered. Go say hi to Joe, Collette said to Rooger pointing to Joe.
Hey Rooger, Joe said holding his hand out.
Rooger, of course, avoided Joes hand and stuck his head into his crotch.
Whoa! Joe said jumping back.
Andy, Collette, and Patrick just laughed.
Not funny, Joe said sternly.
Sorry, Joe. Hes got a mind of his own, Collette said grabbing Rooger by the collar and pulling him away from Joe.
Its fine, Joe said brushing dog drool off his pants not sounding amused.
They heard Jackson squealing from inside the house, so Joe and Andy followed the sound to see what was up.
Patrick stood back and looked at Collette. She was gorgeous. Collette noticed that Patrick was staring at her.
Am I too over dressed? she asked.
No, you look great, he gushed.
Collette blushed and looked to her side.
Thanks, she said smiling.
She looked back at Patrick taking notice that he didnt look so bad himself. He had on some dark slacks with a white polo, a black coat, and of course a black hat. Collette took notice of how he always seemed to where multiple layers, even in L.A where it was warm.
So ready to go? Patrick asked feeling self conscious that Collette was staring.
Just a second. Let me talk to the boys and lay down some rules, she said walking into the living room where all four boys were playing Playstation.
Jacks, can you pause for a second? Collette asked looking into her purse making sure she had everything.
Jackson pushed pause which caused a chorus of awes from the grown-ups.
Yeah, CoCo? he asked walking up to her.
You be good for the guys tonight, ok? she asked kneeling down to be eye level with him.
I will, he said nodding.
You know where all the emergency numbers are and I will have my cell phone on all night. Please call for anything, ok? she asked grabbing the front of his shirt slightly.
I know, he said rolling his eyes.
Its alright, Collette. Well be fine, Pete said still sitting on the floor in front of the TV waiting for the game to continue.
Alright, I left money on the counter, so you guys can order pizza, Collette said loud enough for the guys to hear.
Ok, Pete said simply.
Dont let them turn on the oven, Collette said quietly to Jackson.
Alright, CoCo, he said laughing and nodding.
Collette hugged Jackson tightly to her.
I love you, she said squeezing harder.
CoCo, you have to let me go, he said quietly.
I know, she said and let go to look at him.
He just smiled at her and made her melt with his big blue eyes. She couldnt help but be reminded of her sister every time he gave her that look. It was a look that asked what are you thinking? Her sister always gave her that look.
Have fun, she said ruffling his hair and standing up.
Ready? Patrick asked staying back a ways, so Collette could say goodbye to Jackson.
Yup, she said smiling.
Be good you guys, Patrick said in a low voice.
No one said a thing for they were too involved in their game.
-----
Patrick took Collette to the old part of L.A. by Union Station.
Do you like Mexican food? he asked as they walked along the street.
There were stands all over where people would sell little trinkets and such that they had made. There was a mariachi band playing in the background outside one of the little restaurants.
I love it, she said simply.
Good, I like this part of town because it is away from all the Hollywood hype, you know, he said smiling over at her.
Its very relaxing, she said nodding.
Patrick led her to a restaurant where they were seating in the outside patio. There were some people there, but it was quite enough for them to talk to one another. They could still hear the mariachi band playing in the background. The atmosphere was very romantic.
Collette looked all around taking in all the sites.
I cant say that I have ever been to this part of town before, she said looking at Patrick now.
Patrick just looked at her in hopes she was enjoying herself.
I like it, she nodded approvingly.
Me too, he smiled at her.
Collette could only smile back at this point because Patrick was being so adorable. He had opened every door for her and led her around by gently putting his hand on the small of her back. He made sure to pull her chair out for her before sitting in his own. It had been a long time since she had been treated in such a way and she kind of liked it.
They spent the evening sipping on margaritas and talking about anything and everything. Patrick talked more about his past and childhood back home in Illinois. Collette felt freer to talk about her sister and her childhood as well being that Patrick knew that her sister had died.
It sounds like you two were quite the pair, Patrick said laughing after Collette had told the story about how she and her sister had dropped a six pack of Dr. Pepper in the store having all the cans burst open showering them and everyone else in soda.
She was my best friend, Collette said quietly.
You must miss her a lot, Patrick said noticing that Collette had gotten a distant look on her face.
I do. Even though its only been about a year and half since she past away, I felt like I lost her a long before that, Collette said taking a big sigh.
How so? Patrick inquired.
Kiefer, Jacksons father. She was head over heels for this guy, and he just whisked her away from me. I remember my birthday one year, Collette started to reminisce.
CoCo, dont be angry with me, Morgan sighed into the phone.
Angry? How could I not be angry? Mo, this is my birthday. Ive never had a birthday without you, Collette said sounding disappointed into the phone.
Listen to me. Something came up and I just cant make it, but I will make it up to you. I promise. You know I wouldnt miss this unless it was important, right, Morgan said trying her best to sound as though nothing was wrong.
I know. Ill miss you, Collette said taking a big sigh.
Me too. Have fun, Morgan said shutting the phone off before she broke into tears.
I found out later that Kiefer had hit Morgan for trying to leave to come to my birthday. Something always came up and I never knew it was because he wouldnt let her near her family. He was an evil man, Collette said quietly shaking her head.
Collette, I am so sorry that you lost her, Patrick said sympathetically.
Me too, she said looking into his eyes.
Patrick just grabbed her hand from across the table and squeezed it tightly. He had a feeling that Kiefer was the cause of more pain than Collette was letting on. He had a thought that perhaps the reason Collette was in L.A. with Jackson was because of Kiefer.
Soon their food came and the conversation took a turn to a lighter side and they spent the rest of the evening eating good food and laughing. It was everything Patrick had hoped for in a first date.
-----
Collette quietly opened the door in order to not wake up anybody that may have fallen asleep. It was already midnight.
After eating at the restaurant, Patrick and Collette drove down Ocean Avenue and found a place to park and talk. There may have been a little bit of making out as well.
Rooger came into the entry way, but didnt bark when he noticed it was Collette at the door.
Do you think they are sleeping? Patrick asked quietly.
I dont know. Its pretty quiet in there, Collette said slipping off her shoes.
They tiptoed into the living room and saw that all of the boys had fallen asleep.
Pete was laying on the floor with his head propped against the couch with Jackson sleeping with his head on Petes stomach. Pete rested his hand on Jacksons back. Joe and Andy laid at opposite ends of the couch both with their mouths wide open. The TV was bright blue showing that the movie they were watching had been turned off.
Oh, cute, Collette said mainly to herself.
Ill put Jackson to bed for you, Patrick said walking into the living room and picking the boy up quietly.
Petes eyes flew open and he breathed in deeply. He gave Patrick a confused look as Patrick smiled down at him with Jackson draped over his shoulder.
Pete looked around confused and sat up still with a clueless expression.
You didnt burn the place down. Im impressed, Collette said quietly as Patrick walked into Jacksons room.
Pete smiled and nodded.
Yeah, it was tough to resist, but Jackson said we couldnt play with matches, he joked. His voice was scratchy showing signs that he had just woken up.
Patrick came back out and smiled at Collette.
He didnt even wake up, he said putting his hands in his back pockets.
Yeah, hes always been a heavy sleeper, she smiled and walked to turn the TV off.
So did you guys have a good night? Pete asked picking himself off the floor.
It was nice, Collette smiled towards Patrick.
Yeah, it was, he smiled back.
Pete noticed that they looked lik
How did things get so out of hand? How did everything go so wrong? She knew she could never return. She knew she had to leave and take him with her. It was the only way they were going to survive.
Her family begged her to go to the police for help. They wanted there to be another way, but deep down they knew she had to do this. The only way that she was going to survive was to disappear.
She looked over at the sleeping boy in his car seat. He was such a miracle in her life, and she would never regret his existence. She was doing this all for him. He had the piercing blue eyes of his mother and hopefully no personality traits of his father.
Collette took one last look at her surroundings before getting into the vehicle and driving off to a place where she knew no one would find them. They were going to a place where they could blend into the crowd and just disappear. This was how they were going to survive.
---Almost One Year Later---
Do we really need to be doing this? Patrick asked as he felt as though he was being pressured into something that he didnt want to be doing.
Alright, Patrick, Im usually the one who closes himself off from the world from time to time, but honestly, you need some sun. You are starting to look, well, pale, Pete said choosing his words wisely as Patrick gave him the look.
Weve got so much work to do, Pete. Ive got some new ideas that I want to get down before I forget them, Patrick tried to reason with his friend.
No way. We are not going near the studio today. Today we arent going to be the boys in Fall Out Boy, we are just going to be Pete, Joe, Andy, and Patrick, Pete said walking towards the door knowing full well that Patrick was going to follow.
Fine, Patrick huffed and followed his friend.
Pete gave a knowingly smile. Patrick was such a push over.
----
Jackson, did you feed Nala and Simba? Collette asked the four year old blonde haired boy who sat too close to the TV watching what ever nonsense cartoon that was on.
Yeah, he said quietly not removing his eyes from the screen.
Collette looked at him from the kitchen and smiled warmly at the boy. He was her only reason for living. She was living for this blondie who stole her heart the moment she laid eyes on him.
What about Rooger? Collette asked looking at the rather large yellow lab staring at her.
Yeah, he said again still not giving her his full attention.
Are you sure? Because hes looking at me like he hasnt been fed, she said as the dog tilted his head knowing that she was talking about him.
Oh CoCo, he just wants a treat. Hes a beggar, Jackson said turning off his cartoon show being as the credits were now rolling.
Jackson started to walk into the kitchen up to the lab that was wagging his tail vigorously.
Rooger, you have food, Jackson said patting the dog on the head, which he had to almost reach up to do so being as the dog was the same height as him sitting down.
Collette just giggled at the interaction between Rooger and Jackson. Rooger was born in the spring preceding Jacksons summer arrival. They had known each other practically their whole lives.
CoCo, can we go now? Jackson asked getting impatient.
Collette looked up at the clock.
Yeah, we have to go meet everyone at work, she said grabbing for her purse.
Alright! Jackson said excitedly as he ran towards the door.
-------
So where exactly are we going? Patrick asked as they drove through Southern California.
I dunno exactly. Joe said he heard about some festival going on about 20 minutes out of LA. Were going to check it out, Pete said driving swiftly through the LA traffic.
Are there going to be a lot of people there? Patrick asked.
Good God Patrick. Since when did you become such a whiner? Andy asked suddenly.
Andy could usually tolerate bad moods, it was practically a prerequisite when working closely with Pete, but Patrick was just getting on his nerves.
Im not a whiner, Patrick said crossing his arms over his chest and pouting.
What ever you say, dude, Joe said from the front seat.
What the hell is this? Rag on Patrick day? Patrick asked getting irritated.
Well, what do you expect? Youve been in a bad mood for the past month, and I have a sneaking suspicion that it is due to the fact that you havent been laid in, refresh my memory again, six months, Pete said from his position at the drivers seat.
@#%$ you. How long its been since Ive gotten laid is none of your damn business, Patrick said getting upset.
It is if you are making everyone around you miserable, Joe retorted.
Like any of you have the right to say anything! When was the last time you got some, Pete? Patrick countered leaning forward in his seat.
Last week, he said smugly.
Bull @#%$, Patrick said in disbelief. Who? he asked.
Patrick, I dont kiss and tell. You sing it in our lyrics, loose lips sink ships, Pete said laughing slightly at his reference.
The boy has a point, Andy said nodding along with Joe and Pete.
You guys are assholes, Patrick said slumping back into his seat pouting.
-----
Ok, I want everyone to listen closely, Collette said to the group of eleven kids including Jackson who were anxiously looking past her at all the fun and games that awaited them inside the festival.
Wren, Max, and I are in charge. You all have been assigned to one of us and you will stay with your person no matter what, ok? she said loudly so all could hear her.
Numerous OKs were heard from the group of boys.
OK, each of you will get ten tokens to play at the games, and ten tickets to go on the rides, which Wren and Max are going to hand out now. Do we all know what is expected of us? Collette asked making sure nothing was left unsaid.
Now there were a number of yess heard from the boys.
Ok, be good and have fun, she said smiling at them. The boys scattered into their groups and held out their hands for their tokens and tickets.
Collette, Wren, and Max worked at a boys group home which housed boys ranging from ages seven to twelve who had moderate to severe behavioral and mental health problems. It wasnt very often that they were able to bring the boys out into the community, but being as the festival was in a small town the chances of too many people or too much trouble were slim.
Where to first boys? Collette asked the smaller group of four boys practically dancing to get to the fun.
Games! Jackson yelled out excitedly.
Does anyone object? she asked and all boys shook their heads no wildly. Alright, onto the games, she said pointing forward.
The boys cheered and walked quickly to the small stands that had a number of different carnival games all in a line.
----
Patrick walked around the festival lost in his thoughts following behind Pete, Joe and Andy.
Maybe the guys were right. Maybe he was being crabby lately. Maybe he did need to lighten up a little.
Patrick was suddenly brought back to reality when he heard the most contagious laugh ever. His head perked up and he looked around for the culprit. This person was laughing with such a care free spirit. It reminded him greatly of Pete and his laugh. Once he started, he had everyone around him joining in.
Patrick walked away from the guys and turned the corner to see a young woman with dark brown hair, almost black, playing ski ball with some kids.
Patrick stopped in his tracks and watched. He knew it was probably creepy, but he couldnt help but notice how much fun this person was having. She gave off the presence that she had no worries in the world. She was giving the boys high fives, picking the small one up and twirling him around, and laughing with all of them, Patrick couldnt help but smile to himself.
Patrick? Pete asked from behind him causing him to jump.
What? he asked irritated that Pete had interrupted his day dream.
Do you want to play ski ball, or are you just going to stand there like a creepy old man? Pete asked unsure of what exactly Patrick was up to.
Im not being creepy. Im just admiring how full of life that girl is over there, Patrick said glancing back towards the ski ball games to find that she and the four boys she was with were no where to be found.
Right, Pete said giving Patrick the I think youre crazy look.
No, dont do that, Patrick said pointing at Pete. She was there, he said trying to defend himself.
Man, I think we may have been too late with this break from work. Youre loosing it, Pete said putting his arm around Patricks neck to pull him towards the other two who had found their way to the arcade.
Patrick walked with Pete, but kept a look out for the mystery girl who had caused him to stop and enjoy life if only it were for a matter of minutes.
----
Ok, I know you have some sort of complex about going out, but I dont care anymore. Youve been in California for almost a year now, and you have not once gone out on the town, Wren said turning around in her seat to talk to Collette.
Im a homebody. I like to stay home, she said simply.
Just hear me out. I have a great babysitter for my daughter, so you can drop off Jackson and we are going to go to a great martini/piano bar, Wren said quickly before Collette could protest in the middle of her plans.
I dont think so, Collette said quietly as she looked down at Jackson who had fallen asleep. She smiled slightly at the sight of his blue cotton candy stained face.
Come on girl. I know that you are not old enough to be sitting at home with a four year old every night. Its time to act your age and have some fun, Wren started with her arguments. She always let Collette get away with staying home and she wasnt going to give up without a fight this time.
I dont know, Collette said sounding not so sure.
Well, I do. If you are worried about Jackson, dont be. My cousin is the babysitter; shes been looking after Josie since she was a baby. Shes great. You have nothing to be worried about, Wren said knowing that Jackson was the main reason that Collette never went out.
Collette sat there looking at her friend contemplating actually going out. Its true, she has been in California for almost a year and not once had she been out without Jackson by her side. It would be nice to go somewhere that didnt have a playground inside. But what if something bad happened and her cell phone died. She would never forgive herself if something happened to Jackson when she wasnt there.
Stop it, right now, Wren said sternly.
What? Collette asked shocked.
I know what youre doing. Youre thinking about all the bad outcomes that could result in you going out tonight, she said knowingly.
I am not, Collette lied.
Collette, stop being such a wuss and go out already, Max said from the drivers seat.
See, Wren said smiling at her.
Fine. Ill go out, but this is going to be the last time you pester me for another year, Collette said pointing a finger at her friend.
I can handle that, Wren said smiling as she turned back around in her face.
Collette just smiled to herself. Maybe Wren was right. Maybe she did need to get out more often. Collettes smile faded when she looked down at Jackson, but then again, maybe not.
-----
Patrick sat on his bed thinking about his point in life thus far. Patrick was always known as the serious quiet one, but he still liked to have fun. It just seemed as though that lately he had forgotten how to even have fun. How did he get to this point? He was only 22 years old. He was too young to take life that seriously.
His mind drifted off to that girl that he had seen earlier that day. She must have had a great life. She seemed so care free and able to live in the moment. He should take note of her actions and try to incorporate some of that loving life modality into his own.
Hey Patrick? Patrick was interrupted by Pete lightly knocking on the door and walking in.
Yeah, he asked standing up from his place on his bed.
Andy was just checking the paper and he noticed that the piano duet that you like is going to be at The Ivory tonight. Do you want to go? he asked standing in the doorway.
Patrick stood there for a moment. Maybe this was a sign that he needed to go out and have some fun.
Sure, sounds like fun, he said smiling slightly.
Great, well be leaving in about an hour, Pete said smiling mainly to himself.
He had been worried about Patrick lately. He seemed to take everything onto his shoulders and he didnt need that stress. He didnt want the lifestyle that they had from being in a band crush his best friend. In a way, Pete just wished he could keep Patrick out of the public eye completely in order to keep him safe and innocent.
-----
Collette, honestly. You have to let go of the child. Hes not coming with us, Wren said standing in the doorway of her home beginning to get rather impatient.
I know, Collette said as she released Jackson, who just rolled his eyes.
He was only four, where did he get that from?
Just go, CoCo. Everything will be fine, he said patting her lightly on the shoulder.
This wasnt the way it was supposed to be. The child should be the one not wanting to let go, not the parent.
Ok, you have my cell number right? Collette asked standing up from her kneeled position in front of the little boy that was her life.
She has it all. Now lets go, Wren said irritated grabbing Collette by the purse strap and pulling her out the door.
Be good, Collette said waving to Jackson as Wren marched her way to her vehicle.
Have fun! Jackson yelled back.
-----
The boys walked into the dimly lit bar. The Ivory wasnt a very well known bar, so it was quite quiet for a Saturday evening. Patrick took a deep breath as he walked in. The atmosphere caused him to relax immediately. It was low key and had the wonderful sounds of pianos playing in the background.
Pete noticed immediately as Patricks shoulders seem to fall from their tense position and smiled to himself. This was definitely what the boys needed. They needed some time to relax and be free from pushy press or screaming fans.
Where do you guys want to sit? Joe asked looking around the club.
There were people in booths talking quietly and others sitting at tables listening to the music of the pianos on stage.
How about a booth? Andy suggested pointing to one near the back.
Andy always liked to stay as inconspicuous as possible even though this club was not one to hold many Fall Out Boy fans.
Sounds good to me, Patrick shrugged and followed Andy towards the booth. Pete and Joe went up to the bar to get some refreshments.
How you doing? Andy asked as they sat for a moment.
Fine, Patrick said questioning Andys question.
You just seem tense lately. Everything alright? he asked again.
Fine, everything is fine, Patrick said playing with the drink menu avoiding Andys prying eyes.
Alright, here you guys go, Pete said setting down the beverages on the table and breaking the tension between Andy and Patrick.
-----
Do I look okay? Collette asked as they walked into the club.
Honey, you are smokin, Wren said walking with much more confidence as Collette. Who knew that you had something so hott in your wardrobe, Wren spoke of Collettes little black dress.
Well, isnt it female law that every girl has that little black dress? Collette asked fidgeting with her purse.
I suppose you are right. I shouldnt be so shocked. Where do you want to sit? Wren said scanning the club.
There werent too many people there that night, which was nice. Hopefully Collette would lighten up enough to enjoy herself.
Why dont we sit at the tables over there by the pianos, Collette suggested nodding towards an open table near the back of that section.
You go, Ill get us drinks, Wren said skipping away before Collette could tell her to just get her water. She knew it was no use anyway. Wren was going to do what she wanted.
Collette nervously walked over to the table and sat down glancing around at the others who were quietly talking in groups, gazing at each other from across the table, or listening to the pianos. Collette nervously smoothed out her dress and took a deep breath.
I just met the cutest boy! Wren said setting down a beverage in a martini glass in front of Collette.
No boys, Wren, Collette warned.
Not for you. For me, she said rolling her eyes at Collette. So that was where Jackson got it.
Well then, describe, Collette said sipping cautiously on her drink. She looked back down at it in surprise when it tasted really good.
Oh my god, what is this? she asked in shock.
A chocolate martini, Wren said simply.
It is so good, Collette gushed.
Yeah, and practically all alcohol, so sip. I know it wont take you much to get drunk since Im pretty sure you havent had a drink since you came to California, Wren said drinking from her martini.
Hey, Im not as much of a light weight as you think I am, Collette defended herself.
Well, its kind of hard to tell, since you are wound up so tight, my dear, Wren said looking at her friend with a sad face.
What is that supposed to mean? Collette asked.
I know for a fact that you need to get laid, Wren said gently putting a hand on Collettes wrist.
Excuse me? Collette asked shocked. How the hell did the conversation take such a big turn?
Hun, its been too long, and thats just not healthy, Wren said seriously.
Collette couldnt understand how Wren was being so serious because this conversation was ludicrous.
And that is why you need to find a man, Wren finished her speech.
Are you about done? Collette asked seriously. She was not under the impression that this evening would be spent talking about her sex-life or lack there of.
Im sorry, darlin, but I worry about you, Wren said with concern.
Im fine, Wren. I dont want to get involved with anyone while Jackson is so young. Its too difficult if he gets attached to someone and the relationship doesnt work out. Something like that could crush the kid, Collette said taking another drink of her martini.
Then dont have a relationship. Just have sex, Wren stated like it was no big deal.
So tell be about this boy you met? Collette said changing the subject knowing it was the only way to get off the one they were currently on.
Oh yeah! Hes such a cutie! His name is Joe, and he has dark curly hair and the cutest little lisp when he talks. And he was funny! Wren ranted on about the boy she spent no more than three minutes talking to.
Collette just started laughing at her friend and shaking her head.
What? Wren asked when she noticed Collettes body language.
Wren, you sound as though you are in love with the boy and you barely talked to him, she said laughing still.
He was nice, Wren said shrugging and continued to drink her beverage.
This just caused Collette to laugh more.
-----
Patrick sat in the booth listening to Pete and Joe talk about the club they went to the other night and how all the chicks were so hott. He continued to fidget with the drink menu adding a few comments along the way.
His head shot up when he heard that laugh. It was the same laugh from earlier that day. There was no way that this girl was in the same place he was twice in one twenty-four hour period. His eyes began to scan the restaurant quickly. No one seemed to notice his change in behavior right away. Finally, he had spotted her. They were sitting to the left of their booth just a few feet closer to the stage than they were.
Patrick! Hello! Pete said waving a hand in front of Patricks face.
What are you looking at? Joe asked looking that way as well.
Nothing, Patrick said quickly.
Pete looked over and noticed the table of two girls and smirked.
Bull @#%$. I think Patrick has some eye-candy, Pete cooed.
Shut up, Patrick said mumbling.
I dont shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up, Pete said a line from Stand By Me.
And then your mother goes around the corner and licks it up, Patrick retorted.
Pete burst into his hearty laugh causing the girls to glance over at the sudden outburst.
Real mature boys, Andy said simply. Patrick just slouched down in his seat wishing to disappear at that moment.
Oh no, Patrick. They saw you, Pete said teasing Patrick.
Hey, I know that girl, Joe said pointing. Well, no one said he had great manners.
Patrick sat up quickly at this news.
You do? he asked trying not to sound too anxious.
Yeah, we met at the bar a little while back. Her name wassomething likeRaven or something, Joe said trying to think.
Joe, relax. You dont want to hurt yourself, Andy said chuckling slightly.
@#%$ you, Joe said flipping Andy off.
Which one did you talk to? Patrick asked interested.
The one in the red dress, he said taking a swig of his beer. Why, you want me to introduce you guys?
Oh yeah, that would sound good. Patrick, this is.oh wait, I know it, Raven or something. Raven or something, this is my friend Patrick, Pete said imitating Joe.
Youre just jealous, Joe said back.
Right, Pete said laughing.
No, shes not the one, Patrick said quietly trying to ignore the boys banter.
So the dark-haired lady strikes your fancy, eh? Pete said trying to look over Joe to get a better glance.
Would you stop staring? They are going to notice us looking at them, Patrick said in a hushed tone noticing that the girls kept looking over at them.
Fine, geeze, Pete said sitting back down.
-----
Collette and Wren looked over to the table that had burst out into laughter.
Wow, Collette, that guy has a louder laugh than you, Wren said simply.
What ever, Collette muttered.
Hey! Thats the cute boy I met at the bar, Wren said happily.
Which one? Collette asked taking a better look at the boys.
Duh, the one with dark curly hair. Oh crap, he just pointed over here, she said looking away quickly.
Why do I suddenly feel like I am in high school? Collette asked her friend.
Hey, Collette. I think one of them is crushing on you, Wren said glancing at the table to see a boy in a black hat and dark rimmed glasses staring.
Wren, no, Collette said knowing full well what her friend was thinking.
Come on Collette. He looks cute, Wren said still glancing over at the booth full of boys.
Stop staring, Wren. They are going to see you, Collette lightly kicked her friend under the table.
Ow! That hurt, Wren said rubbing her shin slightly.
Well, you deserved it, Collette scorned.
Wren continued to rub her shin as she glared over at Collette who was now trying to avoid her glances and listen to the piano music.
Wren stood up quickly causing Collette to sit up with surprise.
Where are you going? she asked sounding almost scared. There was no telling what her friend would do.
Im going to use the rest room if that is ok with you, Wren said putting her purse on her shoulder.
Wren, please dont do anything stupid, Collette pleaded with her eyes.
Im just going to the restroom. Man Collette, you need to lighten up, she said walking away.
Collette sat back in her chair and downed the rest of her martini in three big gulps. She took another deep breath and tried to concentrate on the piano players in front of her, but couldnt get the feeling that Wren was up to something.
-----
Patrick sat at the table trying extremely hard not to stare at the girl that was now sitting all alone. She fidgeted constantly and Patrick caught himself smiling a couple of times at these mannerisms. It was unreal to him that he would see this girl twice in one day. What were the chances?
Hey guys. This is Wren, Joe said as he walked up to the table with the girl in the red dress. Wren, Raven, at least he had the right animal.
Hi Wren, Pete said emphasizing her name, so Joe would realize he would be getting @#%$ later for saying it wrong earlier.
Hi, she said happily.
Wren, this is Patrick, Andy, and Pete, Joe said finishing the introductions.
Nice to meet you, Andy said being polite and taking her hand. Patrick just glanced slightly and waved.
Likewise, she said back. So Joe tells me you guys are in a band? she asked making conversation.
Yeah, Fall Out Boy, Pete said being the main spokesperson of the group.
Ive heard of you guys. My boys love you guys, she said no recognizing them all.
Your boys? How many do you have? Joe asked shocked. This girl couldnt be over 25.
Ten, she said simply.
Pete choked on his beverage and started coughing loudly.
What? Joe asked shocked.
Ten boys? How old are you? Andy asked just as surprised as the next.
You should know never to ask a lady her age, Wren said teasing. Andy blushed.
What I meant was you dont look old enough to have ten boys unless it was multiple births or something, he said stammering slightly with his words.
I didnt birth them. When I say I have ten boys, Im referring to the boys in the group home I work for, she said laughing at all their body language at the time.
Group home? Pete asked now very intrigued by her line of work.
Yeah, my friend Collette and I work at a group home which houses boys with mental and behavioral health needs, Wren said pointing to her friend sitting by herself.
Really. Thats awesome. That must be challenging work, Pete said leaning closer to where Wren was standing. Being one who has had problems with mental health at a young age, he has always admired those in the profession working to help those youth.
It is very challenging, but very rewarding. I wouldnt trade those boys for anything, she said smiling as she thought about them.
Do you want to sit down? Pete asked wanting to talk to her more.
I better not, my friend is all by herself, Wren said backing away slightly.
Oh no, invite her to join us, Joe said placing a soft hand on her elbow.
Patrick sat straight up at that invitation. She was going to come over here?
Well, let me see if she is willing to come join you guys, Wren said and turned to walk away with a grin on her face. That works every time.
-----
Collette sat by herself wondering what the hell could be taking her friend so long. She knew for a fact that it didnt take this long to use the ladies bathroom. She started to shift uncomfortably in her seat when she heard a slight commotion come from the booth of boys to her right. She glanced over to see Wren standing there talking to them.
Damn her. Collette quickly turned towards the piano players and started to pray that Wren wasnt doing what she thought she was doing.
Collette tensed up when she noticed her friend come walking towards her.
What did you do? Collette asked noticing the sly smile on Wrens face.
They would like us to join them, Wren said grabbing Collettes purse.
Wren, no, Collette said in a loud whisper grabbing for her purse.
Collette, listen to me. These guys are really cool. They are in a band. Fall Out Boy. Remember Nicolas talking about them all the time? Wren said quietly.
I know Fall Out Boy. I actually like their stuff, Collette said looking over at the table and immediately recognizing the boys.
See! This will be fun. Come on. Live a little, Wren said pleading with her friend.
Fine. But I am not having sex with any of them, Collette said pointing a finger at her friend.
Hey, what you do on your own time is your own business, Wren said holding her hands up in defense.
Collette just rolled her eyes at her friend. Okay, so maybe Jackson got it from her.
Boys, this is Collette. Collette, this is Patrick, Andy, Joe, and Pete, Wren said pointing around the booth.
Collette just smiled slightly and waved as the boys said hello.
Here, have a seat, Andy said standing up and allowing Wren to sit next to Patrick.
He tensed up immediately.
Ill go get us some drinks, Joe said motioning for Collette to take a seat next to Pete.
Collette nodded and sat down glancing at the boys. They seemed harmless enough.
Wren was telling us about you guys working at a group home, Pete said starting a conversation.
Yeah, Collette said back. She was extremely nervous.
That sounds so interesting to me, Pete said trying to engage the nervous girl sitting next to him.
Oh it cant be as interesting as being rock stars, she said not looking up from the table.
I dont know about that, Pete said laughing slightly.
Youre just being modest, Wren said trying to lighten the mood.
Patrick couldnt tear his eyes away from the dark haired girl that sat diagonally from him. For someone with such a care free laugh, she sure was shy.
Joe came back and set drinks down in front of people.
Thanks, Joe, Pete said grabbing his beverage and continued his conversations with Wren.
Collette took a big swig of what ever flavor martini Joe had got her. Mid drink she noticed someone looking at her so she stopped and set her drink down laughing slightly. She must have looked like an alcoholic.
She looked back into Patricks eyes and continued to smile. He smiled back and that was when Collettes heart stopped beating. Patricks eyes looked deeply into the dark chocolate brown eyes of Collette. He was trying to read her soul, but she wasnt giving much away.
Collette suddenly felt flushed. Maybe the alcohol was taking more of an effect that she thought, or maybe it was the most heart warming smile she had ever witnessed coming from the boy in the hat.
Collette and Patrick both jumped out of their long gazes when Pete started laughing at something Wren had told him about one her boys. Collette put her hand up to her heart willing it to start beating normally again.
Collette, you ok? Wren asked her friend.
Yeah, why? she asked trying to play it cool.
You look flushed, Wren stated.
Oh? Well, I am a bit warm. Is it hot in here? she asked looking around the table.
No, not really, Pete said shaking his head no.
I think I just need some fresh air, Collette said scooting towards Joe, so he would let her out of the booth. She quickly made a bee line for the door.
Is she going to be alright? Andy asked concerned.
Im not sure, Wren said starting to get up from her spot.
Ill go check on her, Patrick offered causing everyone to look over at him shocked. It was the most he said since the girls had joined them.
Are you sure? Wren asked.
Yeah, Im a little warm myself, Patrick said scooting out of the booth and following the same path Collette took to leave the club.
-----
Collette stood with her back against the wall staring up at the sky. Why was she acting so shy? Why was she so scared about how the man in the hat was making her heart beat? Collette questioned her actions and came to one conclusion for all; Jackson.
Collette stood up straight once she heard the door open. She noticed the man from inside and she gave him an odd look as he looked out to his right. She heard him take a deep sigh as if he couldnt find what he was looking for.
Looking for something? Collette asked causing him to jump a mile and turn to face her.
Yeah, you, he said sounding startled.
Me? she asked tensing up even more.
Your friend was going to check on you, but I offered, he said casually walking towards Collette.
Why? she asked.
This caused the man to stop in his tracks and almost look hurt.
Iwell, I, he started to stutter with his words.
Sorry, that was rude, she said looking down.
She heard him sigh and stand right in front of her. Collette looked up into his eyes and felt her face become flushed again.
Im Patrick, he said holding out his hand with a genuine smile on his face.
Collette, she said taking his hand in hers not allowing her eyes to leave his.
Its very nice to meet you, Patrick said glad that she was throwing him some sort of bone.
You too. I actually enjoy your music, she said relaxing against the wall again.
Really? he asked leaning against the wall now.
Collette noticed the warmth on her right from his closeness and got goose bumps on her arm.
You sound shocked, she said laughing slightly.
Well, most people who hang out in piano bars dont listen to Fall Out Boy, he stated matter-o-factly.
Well, Im not like most people, she said looking over at him.
Patrick smiled over at her. Was she flirting?
Thats good to know, he said looking straight ahead.
Collette couldnt believe what she was doing. She hadnt flirted with a boy in over a year. Had she completely lost it?
Actually, when you work with kids, you try to keep up to date with what they are listening to, she said coughing slightly.
She needed to back track to the point where she wasnt flirting. She didnt want to give him the wrong impression.
Oh, Patrick said simply. Ok, so maybe she wasnt flirting.
Not to say that I dont like your music, she said quickly. It had sounded as though she had hurt his feelings and she didnt mean for that to happen.
Its ok if you dont like our stuff. Its not for everyone, he said laughing a little.
Collette looked at his profile and tilted her head. She just stared at him smiling. This guy seemed so nice and almost huggable like a teddy bear.
Patrick noticed the silence and looked at Collette from the corner of his eye.
What? he asked turning to look at her.
Collette stood up straight not believing that she had just got caught staring.
Nothing, she said looking forward.
It was Patricks turn to stare. She had such simple features that perked his interest. Collette felt his eyes on her.
What? she asked him not turning to face him.
Nothing, Patrick said simply still staring. It was completely uncharacteristic of him, but he couldnt help himself.
Collette just blushed fiercely and put her head down.
So tell me something about yourself, he said trying to make Collette not feel so shy.
Collette dreaded that question. She had to keep her information as close to the present as possible. She never dug into her past.
I work at a boys home with Wren, she said simply.
Well, I already know that. What do you do there? he asked offering her something to go off of.
Im a therapist, so I do group and individual therapy with them. We also take them on outings to teach them social skills and living skills, she said starting to relax a little.
Wow. Sounds like a lot of work, he said leaning his shoulder against the wall.
Collette kept her back against the cool brick. It was the only thing keeping her grounded at the moment.
It is a lot of work, but it doesnt feel like work. I love my job so much, it almost seems too good to be true, you know? she asked only moving her head to look at him.
Yeah, actually. I do, he said laughing slightly.
Of course you do. Duh, she said to herself shaking her head.
So what ages do you work with? Patrick asked trying to get back into a conversation. He was starting to fall in love with the sound of her voice. As simple of a thing it was.
They range from seven to fourteen. Its never a dull moment with them, thats for sure, she said thinking back to the boys.
Yeah, I can imagine its kind of like living on a tour bus with Pete, Patrick said causing Collette to burst out laughing.
There it was; her laugh. Patricks eyes lit up and had a longing to make her laugh again just so he could hear the initial outburst.
Well, it seems we have something in common, she said still giggling slightly.
It seems so, he said back.
Collette looked into Patricks eyes and fell deep into them. She had let her guard down and found herself wondering what it would be like to wake up and see those eyes looking over at her. It had been so long since she had been held in strong arms that she was starting to long for it. For so long she had to be the strong arms holding other people.
Patrick couldnt help but stare at this being in front of him. She had a genuine laugh, a bright smile, and a curious personality. One moment she is open and fun-loving, and the next she is closed up and shy. Patricks eyes wandered down to her lips. They were the perfect shape with a slight tint of pink in them. He started to wonder what it would be like to kiss her.
Hey guys! both Patrick and Collette jumped at the sound of Andys voice.
Andy, you scared the @#%$ out of me, Patrick said turning around towards the door.
Well, youve been out here for almost twenty minutes. We thought you got abducted by aliens or something, he said laughing from the doorway.
Nope, just enjoying one anothers company, Patrick said walking towards the door.
Collette followed quietly. She saw that look in Patricks eyes and knew what they were saying and in a way she wanted him to kiss her, but she knew she couldnt kiss him. There was no way that she could get involved with someone. Especially someone like Patrick Stump, lead vocalist of Fall Out Boy.
Patrick and Andy allowed Collette to enter the building first. She started to go towards the bathroom.
Youre not running off again are you? Patrick asked grabbing her upper arm slightly. He had the cutest smile on his face that once again Collette melted at.
No, Ill be right there, she smiled back.
Patrick just nodded and let her go.
Alright, but I dont think the staff will appreciate me going into the ladies room to check on you, he said turning to walk away.
Collette laughed slightly and continued on her way. Once in the bathroom, Collette locked the large door just for good measure. She didnt know Patrick all that well, and she had no idea if he was serious about coming in and checking on her.
She turned and looked straight into the mirror. Taking a deep breath, Collette wet a paper towel and put it over her face. There is no way that she can start liking a guy.
Jackson, Jackson, Jackson. Keep thinking about him, Collette, she said to herself looking into the mirror again.
She stared for the longest time allowing her thoughts to sweep away to Patrick. He was so cute and genuinely nice. It had been a long time since she had felt even remotely comfortable around a guy. It was nice.
Damn it, she whispered to herself.
She washed her hands and headed for the door still unsure of where she stood with her thoughts. Collette opened the door to see Patrick standing there.
Hi, she said quickly unsure of what he was doing.
I have no idea what I am doing, he said answering her unspoken question.
Okay, Collette said feeling glued to her spot.
This is so out of character for me and if the guys knew I was going to do this they would make a scene for sure, he started taking a deep breath.
Collette knew he wasnt done speaking, so she just stood there in shock allowing him to continue.
Its just, the first time I saw you this afternoon at the fair, I couldnt get my mind off of you, he gushed.
You saw me at the fair? Collette interrupted. She knew it wasnt the point, but was shocked by this added information.
Are you stalking me? she asked smiling trying to lighten the intense atmosphere that seemed to suddenly surround them.
What? No, no, Im not stalking you, Patrick said getting caught off guard by the question.
I was kidding, she said biting her lip slightly. She didnt want to laugh at him, but the look on his face was priceless.
Oh, well. As I was saying, Patrick said knowing if he didnt get out what he was going to say that second, he was never going to do it and always wonder. Can I get your number? he blurted out quickly.
Collette stood there staring at him. Her face showed no change in emotion. This wasnt the reaction he was expecting at all. I mean most guys fear this reaction, but they never actually get it.
Or not, he said quietly turning into the shy guy who was sitting at the table once before.
Oh, Patrick. Im sorry, Collette said breaking out of her shock.
She wasnt expecting him to ask her that and she was pretty sure she needed to remind her heart to begin beating again.
Its ok. Forget I asked anything at all, he said turning towards the mens bathroom.
No its not that, Collette reached for his arm to stop him.
Patrick turned around slowly not saying anything. He just stood there waiting for her response unnoticeably holding his breath.
Its just, this is a really bad time for me right now to get into any form of a relationship with anyone, she said knowing she couldnt do the one thing that she ever so wanted to do.
Its alright. I understand, Patrick said quietly.
Its not that I dont want to. Its just that I cant, and I wish I could explain it to you, but some things are just better left unsaid, she said trying not to crush his heart and trying not to show him that she was crushing her own in the process.
Yeah, bad timing. I get it, he said coughing slightly as he walked into the bathroom.
Collette dropped her shoulders as she saw his back walk away from her.
@#%$, she said out loud as she walked over to the table.
She noticed everybody having such a good time, she didnt want to ruin the fun, but she needed to go home.
Hey hun, Wren said as she noticed her friend coming towards the table.
Hi, Collette said quietly. Joe stood up for her to sit down.
Actually, I hate to be a buzz kill, but I think Im going to go, she said putting a five on the table to tip the waitress.
What? No, Wren whined.
Is everything ok? Pete asked.
Everythings fine. Im just tired. It was pleasure meeting all you guys, Collette said shaking everyones hands.
Yeah you too, Andy said back.
Well, Im going too, Wren said grabbing for her purse.
You too? Joe asked sounding disappointed.
Yeah, time for the evening to end, Wren said sighing heavily.
Wren, I can cab it. You dont have to leave, Collette said wanting to get out of there before Patrick came back.
Yeah, stay, Joe said happily.
No no. I came with Collette and I am leaving with her, she said writing something down on a napkin. Here, call me sometime, Wren handed Joe a napkin with her number on it.
Okay, Joe said looking at it before folding it and putting the number in his back pocket.
Collette couldnt believe how easy it was for Wren to just hand over her number to complete stranger.
It was a pleasure boys, Wren said saying goodbye.
Collette had already started to walk out of the club. She knew that Wren wouldnt be too far behind her.
As she passed the bathrooms she got a glimpse of Patrick standing there listening to messages on his phone. She smiled sadly at him and waved slightly before going out the door not wanting to see his response.
Do you want to tell me what that was all about? Wren asked walking out of the club.
I told you that you could stay, Collette said walking towards the car.
Well, obviously I couldnt stay when you were leaving with a look that your puppy just died on your face, Wren said trying to move her short legs fast enough to catch up to her friend.
I would just like to go home, Collette said not wanting to talk about it.
Oh no. Youre not getting off that easy. Those boys were cute, Joe especially, now you are going to tell me why we are leaving at eleven oclock, Wren said unlocking the doors for Collette to get in.
He asked me for my number, Collette said simply.
Who? Patrick? Wren asked confused.
Yup, Collette said staring straight ahead.
Well, did you give it to him? Wren asked driving down the road.
Collette looked over at Wren in shock.
You know I cant do that, Collette said raising her voice slightly.
Well, why the hell not? Wren asked watching the road closely.
Jackson isnt at the age where I can start dating, Collette said shaking her head.
Cut the bullshit, Collette, Wren said angrily.
Excuse me? Collette asked shocked. Where was the hostility coming from?
Stop using him as an excuse to stay in your sheltered little life. If you keep using him as an excuse, you are going to start to resent him and that isnt going to help your situation any either, Wren said trying with all her might to get her friend to see what she was doing.
What do you know about my situation? You know nothing about my situation, Collette said sounding angry now. Now wasnt the time for Wren to start using therapeutic techniques on her friend.
I dont know anything about your situation because you wont tell anybody. Honey, that is no way to live, Wren said sounding more sympathetic than angry now.
Im doing all that I can to survive, Wren. Please, just let me continue to do it my way, Collette said sounding almost exhausted.
Alright, Collette, but one day you are going to think back and wonder what if. I just hope you are prepared to be able to go through that alone, Wren said and turned up the radio to signal she was done with the current conversation.
Collette just took a deep breath. She knew what Wren was trying to do, and it pissed her off because it was working. What was she to do now anyway? It was too late.
-----
Patrick came back to the table feeling horrible. Now all he wanted to do was go home as in Chicago home.
Hey guys, Im going to jet, he said standing at the table.
Do we smell or something? Pete asked smelling his armpits.
What? Patrick asked confused.
Well, just a couple of minutes ago, Collette came by and said she was leaving too, looking about as crappy as you do, Pete said looking up at Patrick.
Thanks, Pete, Patrick said sounding annoyed. He was anything, but in the mood to joke around.
Dude, you ok? Joe asked noticing his irritable behavior.
I just wanna go, Patrick said sounding defeated.
We can all go, Pete said taking note of his friends body language. He knew something was wrong.
No, you guys stay. I can take a cab, Patrick said putting his hands in his pocket.
Naw, lets go, Pete said putting some money on the table and scooting out of the booth.
The other two followed suit. Patrick just shrugged and walked towards the door. He told them they could stay; it wasnt his fault that they didnt listen.
Patrick sat in the back seat staring out the window watching LA pass by in an orange and yellow blur. He every now and then would tune into the conversation that Joe and Andy were having from the front seat. Joe was talking about calling Wren since she gave him her number. It must be nice to not be rejected by someone.
Pete watched Patrick cautiously trying to read him. He knew better than to ask Patrick about it in front of the others. Patrick is not one to talk about his feelings in front of people. Pete was just relieved that he and Patrick had a close enough relationship that they could talk to each other about things; otherwise this lifestyle would be overly unbearable for the both of them.
-----
Collette gently put a sleeping Jackson in his bed. His blond hair was all ruffled as he rolled over onto his stomach. Collette smiled down on him.
She was not going to resent him for her lifestyle. None of this was his fault, but she had to live this way for him. She stared down at the boy not being able to fathom ever having the feeling of resentment towards him.
Collette left the sleeping boy with his large yellow lab sleeping at the foot of the bed. She shut his door slightly and went into her bedroom and pulled out the one photo album that she brought from home. It was the one thing from her past that she brought with her. It was her second most prized possession with Jackson being the first.
Collette flipped through pages looking at all the happy smiles on each page. She missed everyone from home so much. She hadnt talked to anyone since the day before they left. No one knew where they were, and unfortunately that was how it was going to stay.
Collette stopped on the page of when Jackson was a newborn. She stared intently at the two sets of deep blue eyes that stared back at her. Tears welled up into her eyes.
CoCo?
Collette slammed the photo album shut and wiped her eyes quickly before looking at her door where Jackson stood with Rooger next to him.
Jackson, are you ok? she asked standing up to go towards him.
I had a bad dream, he said quietly.
Do you want to tell me about it? she asked picking him up into her arms. He just shook his head no.
Ok, you dont have to tell me, she said rubbing the back of his neck for comfort.
She felt him cling onto her tightly and all questioning thoughts about not giving Patrick her phone number vanished.
Do you want to sleep with me tonight? she asked the little boy. He just nodded his head yes.
Alright, Collette said and pulled back her covers with one arm and gently set him in her bed pulling the covers tightly around him.
What were you looking at? he pointed to the book lying in the middle of the bed.
Some of mommys pictures, she said running her hand through his hair.
Oh, can I look at them? he asked.
Tomorrow, ok, she said kissing his forehead.
Ok, he said snuggling into her covers more.
Come on Rugger, Collette said patting the end of her bed designated for the oversized dog.
Rugger jumped onto the bed with ease and made himself comfortable as well.
Ill be in bed in a moment, okay? Collette said from the doorway.
Okay, CoCo. Goodnight, Jackson said yawning the last word.
-----
Patrick immediately went to his room as soon as Andy had put the car in park. He really didnt feel like talking to anybody.
Pete of course, wasnt going to let Patrick just sit and sulk in his room. That wasnt his style.
Pete knocked quietly on his friends door and heard Patrick sigh from the other side.
Pete, Im tired. Can this wait? he asked sounding muffled through the wood.
Patrick knew it was Pete at his door. He knew that knock anywhere.
Pete opened the door and stepped in closing it behind him. Patrick just looked at his friend as if to ask what?
I dunno, Patrick. Can this wait until tomorrow? he asked crossing his arms over his chest.
Patrick set the sweatshirt that was in his hands on his bed and sat down.
Whats going on? Pete asked walking towards his friend.
I made a complete ass of myself tonight, Patrick said putting his head in his hands.
You have to be more specific. Im the king of asses, Pete said taking a seat in a chair that held numerous articles of clothing.
Patrick gave a half smile knowing that Pete was half being serious and half trying to cheer his friend up.
I asked Collette for her number, Patrick started.
You did? Pete said sounding shocked. That was completely out of character for Patrick.
Yeah, well, it didnt go well because she totally turned me down, Patrick said with frustration in his voice.
Bummer. What did she say? Pete asked curious. Why would anyone turn Patrick down?
She said the timing was off, blah, blah, blah, Patrick said lying back on his bed.
Dude, Im sorry, Pete said not really knowing what more to say.
Its fine. I just, Patrick sat up searching for the words he wanted to say.
When we were outside, she seemed so real. She has these simple features that make you think, there has to be more, and then she laughs and your whole body fills up with joy because thats how she makes you feel. And I am sounding like a complete psychopath, Patrick said taking note of Petes facial expression.
You totally are crunching on a girl you barely know, Pete said smiling widely.
Shut up, Patrick said laying back down dramatically.
Pete laughed out loudly. Patrick was never the one to be the hopeless romantic; that was Petes job.
Im sorry, but for once the tables have turned, Pete said still laughing.
Well, there is nothing I can do about it. She is obviously repulsed by me, Patrick said staring at his ceiling.
Dont say that because you know its not true. She probably just got a little scared. You are in a rock band. Shes probably just protecting herself, Pete offered.
Patrick sat back up slowly with a pensive look on his face.
Well, Ill probably never see her again, he said focusing on his pessimism.
Not necessarily, Pete chimed.
What are you talking about? Patrick asked confused.
Joe got her friends number, so you should never say never, Pete said patting Patrick on the shoulder as he got up and left his friend with his thoughts.
Patrick sat there for a moment just thinking about what Pete had said. He wondered if he would see this girl again. Was she just protecting herself? If that was the case he couldnt blame her. Its not easy doing the dating thing with the hectic schedule that he and his band mates held.
Patrick couldnt help but get the feeling that there was more to this girl that she was giving off. She was keeping something protected, but he had the suspicion that it wasnt herself that she was protecting.
Patrick laid back down on his bed in yet another dramatic fashion. He really needed to sleep.
-----
Hello? Collette answered the phone.
Silence.
Hello? Collette asked again sounding more than just annoyed.
CoCo? she heard whimpered on the other end.
Morgan? Collette stood up from her couch in fear.
CoCo, she heard her sister cry.
Oh my God. Morgan, where are you? Are you ok? Collette asked rushing towards her purse to go get her sister.
CoCo, she heard her cry again.
Why was she only saying her name? Why wasnt she answering Collettes question?
Morgan, please. You need to tell me where you are, Collette insisted.
Silence.
Morgan! Are you there? Collette asked sounding frantic.
Im sorry, she heard a whisper and the line going dead.
Collette shot up in bed opening her eyes and breathing deeply. She quickly looked next to her and noticed that Jackson wasnt lying next to her anymore. She put her hand up to her beating heart and looked over at her clock. It read 9:00 a.m. She then heard the distant sounds of cartoons being watched in the living room.
Collette sat in bed trying to control her breathing. It had been at least a week since she had her last nightmare. She was grateful that they were becoming further and fewer between because she was sure one of these days her heart was going to leap from her chest. Her dreams were so real. She could swear that she just had her sister on the phone.
She slowly got out of bed and wandered towards the living room where Jackson sat on the floor with his head laying on Roogers stomach.
Morning Jackson, Collette said going into the kitchen in order to get her coffee fix.
Hi, he said unenthusiastically paying more attention to the TV.
Did you sleep alright last night? she asked him taking down a coffee mug from the cupboard.
Mmm hmm, he mumbled.
Collette just shook her head and continued to make her coffee. The boy was too into his cartoons to be bothered at the moment.
-----
Patrick woke up the next morning not feeling any better about the events that had occurred the night before. Of course it didnt help that he had a dream about her. It also didnt help that the dream was of them kissing.
Patrick put his hand up to his lips due to the dream still leaving the impression of her lips on his.
@#%$, he whispered and pulled himself out of bed.
He made his way into the living room to see Pete slouched on the couch watching cartoons.
Morning, Patrick said walking into the kitchen.
There was a non-comprehendible mumble that came from Pete. Patrick took that as a hello.
What are you watching? Patrick asked looking at the cartoon characters on the TV.
All he received in response was another mumble that Patrick did not understand. Patrick just rolled his eyes and went to look for something edible in the kitchen. Pete was stuck at age seven.
Patrick poured himself a bowl of cereal and sat down on the couch next to Pete, who kept his eyes fixated on the television screen. Patrick tried to make sense of what was happening on the screen, but he just couldnt quite get a grasp on it. Suddenly a commercial came on and Pete looked over at Patrick confused.
What? Patrick asked with a mouth full of cereal.
When did you get up? he asked confused.
You are something else, you know that? Patrick responded not really in shock by his friends mannerisms, but more in awe.
So, howd you sleep? Pete asked keeping his eyes on the TV screen waiting for his cartoons to return.
Fine, Patrick said shoving cereal into his mouth in hopes to avoid the subject of sleeping.
You dreamt about her, huh? Pete said fiddling with the remote.
No, Patrick said not sounding very believable.
Right, Pete said now looking at Patrick who had milk dripping down his chin.
Fine, I had a dream about her. What do you want me to say? That we had hot, passionate sex and I woke up with a hard on, Patrick said irritated not by Pete, but by the fact that Pete can read him so well.
If thats the truth, then yes, Pete said still waiting for his cartoons to return.
Well, its not, Patrick grumbled.
Pete, however, did not respond due to the fact that his cartoons had returned.
Its not the truth! We didnt have sex! Patrick yelled trying to get Petes attention.
Mmm hmm, Pete mumbled and turned the volume louder.
Patrick sat in shock for a moment, but shook himself out of his thoughts and went to get ready for the day.
Who didnt you have sex with? Joe asked coming out of his room looking as though he had just woken up.
Never mind, Patrick said going to his room.
Joe just shrugged and joined Pete on the couch to watch cartoons.
-----
Collette sat at her usual spot in the coffee shop with her lap top in front of her. She had tried to do her paper work at work, but she kept getting interrupted, so she retreated to her haven.
It had been a week since she met Patrick, and she hasnt been able to get her mind off of him. What was wrong with her? She has never let someone take this effect over her before.
She had also been having nightmares every night that week, which was causing her to get little to no sleep. She knew why she was having the nightmares, but she tried to avoid thinking about it. They will just go away like they always did.
Collette stopped typing and took off her glasses. Her eyes hurt from lack of sleep and staring at the computer screen for over an hour. She looked at her watch and decided she would need to go get Jackson from daycare soon.
Collette started to rub the brim of her nose. She could feel a headache coming along.
Are you alright? She heard a mans voice causing her head to perk up.
Patrick? she asked looking up at the man in the hat with a concerned look on his face.
Collette was sure Patrick would never want to talk to her after the way she turned him down, let alone be concerned for her.
Hey. This is strange. Im not stalking you, I promise, he said laughing slightly. I just wanted some coffee, and to get away from Pete, he admitted.
Collette smiled tiredly but didnt respond.
Well, I can see you are busy. I didnt mean to bother you, he started feeling awkward from the silence.
Actually, I could use a break. Do you want to sit down? she asked interrupting him.
Patrick stopped talking and looked at her thoughtfully. One moment she wants to get as far away from him and the next she is asking him to sit down and join her.
I understand if you need to get back to what ever you were doing. I just thought Id offer, she said noticing that he wasnt responding to her previous request.
No, Id love to join you, he said sitting down.
Collette smiled and shut her laptop.
Thanks, I needed the break, she said sighing heavily.
Work? he asked pointing to the computer that she had pushed aside.
Paper work. The one thing I hate about my job, she said smiling down into her mug of coffee.
Its a given. Every job needs its pros and cons, he said back paying close attention to his coffee as well.
Collette just nodded. She didnt realize just how tired she was until that moment.
Patrick, Im sorry about last weekend, she said quietly looking him in the eyes.
Patrick noticed that she almost looked ashamed of what she had done, and he suddenly felt bad for being so rude to her after she had turned him down.
Hey, dont worry about it. Were adults here. Its no big deal, he said trying brush it off like his heart hadnt been trampled on.
No, I feel like I owe you a better explanation, she said shaking her head and looking down at the table.
You said it yourself; some things are better left unsaid. You dont owe me anything, Patrick said wanting to get off the subject.
He wanted to talk about anything other than being rejected at the moment.
Im so tired, she said mainly to herself.
It was then that Patrick noticed the large bags that were under her eyes. She did look tired, but he had a feeling she was tired in more ways than one.
Are you ok? Patrick asked reaching across the table and lightly touching her arm.
Im sorry. Im fine. I just got caught up in my own drama for a moment, she said slightly looking at her watch.
@#%$! she yelled causing Patrick to jump back slightly and an elderly couple to look their way with a disapproving faces.
What? Patrick asked leaning back in his chair.
Im late! Hes going to kill me, she said picking up her stuff and throwing it in her bag.
Patrick wasnt sure if he had heard her correctly. Did she just say that hes going to kill her? Who is he?
Well, can I give you a ride somewhere? he asked standing up as she did.
No, no. Ive got my car, she said searching her pockets for her keys.
Patrick just stood back as she frantically scribbled something on a napkin.
Here, she said thrusting the napkin at him.
He looked at the writing and then back up at her confused.
Its a reminder. Meet me here on Wednesday at 2:00 p.m. I have to go. Sorry, she said rushing out of the caf like a tornado.
Patrick watched as she scampered to her car and pull away. He then looked back down at the napkin that had the date and time scribbled on it.
Well, it wasnt exactly the number he was hoping for, but it would have to do for now.
-----
Collette ran up to the daycare providers house. Jackson hated it when she was late. Due to their past, he constantly worried that something had happened to her if she showed up late.
She burst through the door to see Jackson standing there with his shoes on and his arms folded across his chest.
Sorry, she said kneeling down to give him a hug.
He just kept his stance and stared at her; his accusing blue eyes gazing into hers.
Im sorry, she said again.
Its fine, he said nonchalantly and walked out the door to the car.
I tried to tell him that you had a good excuse as to why you were late, Jan, the daycare provider, had said shrugging her shoulders.
Thanks. Sorry about that, Collette said standing up fully and walking out the door.
Jackson was already sitting in the back seat of the Explorer waiting for her to buckle him up safely in his seat. He was mad. He definitely got that trait from his mother.
-----
Patrick walked back to the studio with a grin on his face.
Whats the story? Pete asked from his position on the couch with a notebook and pencil in hand.
Nothing, Patrick said sitting down next to him unable to get rid of the grin on his face.
Bull @#%$, Pete said back staring at Patrick.
I ran into her at the coffee shop, Patrick said as if it were no big deal.
No way, Pete said not believing his friend.
Way, Patrick said sounding like Wayne from Waynes World.
She must think you are some creep following her around LA, Pete said shaking his head and doodling in his notebook.
She doesnt think that, Patrick said smiling still.
What happened? Pete asked looking up now.
She told me to meet her at the shop on Wednesday at two, he stated.
Really. Well, there ya go Patty-cakes, Pete said hitting Patrick slightly on the arm.
Patrick just glanced at Pete and stood up to work some more on their record ignoring the fact that he had called him by one of the many hated nicknames that Pete had given him.
-----
Jackson sulked in his room until Collette called him for dinner.
I said I was sorry, Jacks. What do you want from me? she asked as he ate his dinner in silence.
You promised me that you would never be late, he said quietly.
I know, but sometimes I get late. It was an accident, she said to him.
She saw him take a deep breath.
I know. I was just scared. I dont like feeling scared, he said pushing his food from side to side.
Me either. Thats why I am going to try to not be late any more, but I cant promise that it wont happen again, Collette said amazed by this kid sitting in front of her.
He just nodded his head and continued to eat.
Hey, want to watch Lilo and Stitch? Collette asked trying to lighten the mood.
Lilo and Stitch was her and Jacksons favorite Disney movie. Stitch reminded her of the boys that she worked with and Jackson thought Stitch was well, a stitch.
Ok, he said lightly and smiling up at her.
Collette smiled back. She swore his smile could cure world hunger. It sure did cure all her ailments.
Ok, go get the movie set up. Ill clear our plates, Collette said picking up her plate.
Jackson just jumped off his chair and ran into the living room.
------
Patrick sat in the caf with his own laptop in front of him. Pete was pestering him so much about this pseudo date, that he left an hour early to get away from him and to work on his own projects.
Well, it seems that great minds think alike, Collette said standing in front of Patrick with her own laptop swung over her shoulder.
Patrick looked up into her eyes and smiled. Collette smiled back and sat down.
I just couldnt handle the little one today, Patrick said closing his laptop.
Pete? Collette asked.
She didnt know the boys that well, but she kind of picked up that Pete was the kid at heart in the group due to some of Patricks comments.
Bingo, he said laughing slightly.
Well, you should try having 10 of them running a muck by your office, she said taking a deep breath.
Sometimes I feel like there are 10 Petes running a muck in the studio. I dont quite know where the spurts of energy come from, but when they do, they become unbearable, Patrick said shaking his head in disbelief.
Wow, 10 Petes. Sounds scary, she said laughing trying to picture it.
Very. Can I get you some coffee, Patrick asked taking notice that she hadnt ordered anything yet.
I can get it. I just wanted to set my stuff down, Collette said reaching for her purse.
No, I insist, he said standing up.
Ok, Ill have a mocha with a mint shot in it then, she said shrugging.
Coming right up, he said in good spirits.
Collette relaxed a little in her seat as Patrick went up to the counter to order her drink. She debated all morning whether or not she was actually going to go through with meeting him, but as soon as she saw that smile on his face she knew she made the right decision.
She didnt really know why she was doing this, however. She still felt adamant that she could not get into a relationship at this point in her life, but Patrick was someone who she felt so comfortable talking with. It was nice to have an adult conversation with someone other than people she works with.
Here ya go, Patrick said setting the mocha in front of Collette causing her to break out of her thoughts.
Thank you, she said putting it in her hands and smelling it.
She loved the smell of coffee. She looked up and noticed Patrick giving her an odd glance from above his glasses.
What? she asked.
You could be in a commercial for Folgers Coffee, he said still giving her that goofy look.
Collette just stared at him for a moment before she burst out laughing. She hadnt thought about it before, but she totally did that clich coffee smell.
Patricks face lit up when he heard her laugh again.
I have to tell you this, but I love your laugh, he said in admiration.
No you dont. Its loud and annoying, she said stifling her laugh to a giggle.
Its not annoying and the fact that its loud shows that you arent afraid to laugh and be care free, he pointed out. Its refreshing, he added.
You think? she asked blushing now.
Yeah. Its the first thing I noticed about you when you were at that fair thing, he said taking a sip of his coffee.
Patrick wasnt sure what it was about this girl that caused him to talk so much, but he liked it. It was almost like witch craft.
Thats embarrassing. You probably were all the way across that fair and heard me laughing, she said looking down.
No, it was nice, he said simply.
Collette looked up into Patricks eyes and smiled at him. What was it about this boy that caused her to melt every time she made eye-contact with him?
-----
So you have to tell me what you are up to, Wren said coming into Collettes office with determination written all over her face.
Like at this very moment? Collette asked turning from her computer.
No, I mean like where do you go every Wednesday afternoon for the past three weeks, Wren said sitting in one of the chairs that Collette had for the boys to sit in.
I told you where I go. I go get coffee and do my paper work, Collette said casually.
Well, thats crap. Youve had this smirk on your face that Ive never seen before, so either you are in love with someone that works at the coffee shop or youve had sex, Wren whispered the last part being that Collettes door was propped open and her office was on the unit floor.
Neither actually, Collette said smiling at her friend.
Collette, you have to tell me. Im dying here, girl, Wren said whining.
Fine, but you cant tell anybody, ok, Collette said breaking down.
Promise, Wren said holding her hand in the air.
Ive been meeting Patrick at the coffee shop every Wednesday, Collette said leaning in closely to Wren, so she wouldnt have to say it so loud.
Shut Up! Wren yelled causing a boy who was walking by to stop and look in the office briefly, but continue on his way.
Wren, quiet, Collette scolded.
Sorry, but wow. Are you guys dating? she asked in a girly squeal.
No. We are just friends enjoying one anothers company, and that is how it is going to stay, so keep you little butt out of it, Collette said pointing a finger at Wren.
Oh no way, honey. Ive seen that look on your face. You are falling for him, Wren said shaking her head in an all knowing fashion.
Wren, stop it. Im enjoying his company. Thats it, Collette said sternly.
I think youre trying to convince yourself more than me, Wren said in a sing song way as she got up to leave the room.
Im not listening, Collette turned back to her computer and mimicked Wrens voice tone.
She just heard Wrens laugh as she walked out of her office and into the hallway. Collette sat at her computer smiling to herself.
She loved the conversations that she and Patrick had when they got together. They talked about movies that they currently saw to the classic ones they couldnt get enough of. They shared their music interests, and Patrick tried to convert her into an Elvis Costello fan, unsuccessfully. They complained to each other about the stresses of work. Even though they each shared an undying love for their work, there still was the fact that they lead stressful lives.
Collette hadnt been this happy since before she left for California. It was nice to finally get her lingering worries to subside for the two hours that she met Patrick in that coffee shop once a week.
-----
Alright, its been three weeks. Tell me about her, Pete said walking up to Patrick who was daydreaming in the kitchen.
What? Patrick asked breaking out of his thoughts.
I wanna know what about her makes you like this, Pete said sitting at the breakfast bar.
I dont know. Everything, Patrick said not being able to put her into words.
Everything? You sound smitten, Pete said sounding slightly shocked.
Im not smitten. We are just friends, Patrick said standing up straight to reinforce the just friends part of his statement.
Mmm hmm. Is this by her terms or yours? Pete asked tilting his head slightly.
Patrick slouched lightly wondering how in the hell he did it.
Hers, he said quietly.
I knew it. Patricks a smitten kitten, Pete said bouncing a little at his rhyme.
You suck, Patrick said walking away form Pete.
Pete just burst out laughing and Patrick couldnt help but think of her. Thats all he ever did, he thought about her.
Collette tried to explain in further detail the reasons why they had to stay just friends, but Patrick didnt really understand. She told him that she had just moved to California and that she was working on getting settled into her life there. She also told him that by the time she would be settled, he would more than likely be long gone.
Patrick couldnt argue with that. They were getting ready to release a record in the early part of the year, and then a tour would be the next step. So, Patrick just opted for the just friends situation for the time being. At least he got to enjoy her company.
Dude! I want McDonalds! Patrick heard Pete roar from the kitchen.
-----
Jackson, are you about ready to go? Collette asked the little boy as he played in the pool of plastic balls.
Fifteen more minutes, CoCo, he giggled as he sunk deeper and deeper into the pool.
Collette just rolled her eyes at the boy.
Ten, she said sitting back down in the uncomfortable plastic chair and kept a close eye on the boy.
Collette? she heard her name being called.
She looked up and saw Patrick walking towards her with a surprised expression on his face.
Patrick, what are you doing here? she asked standing up in a nervous fashion.
Pete wanted food, Patrick said pointing to Pete who went straight to the counter and was already ordering his food. I obviously dont need this stuff, he said patting his stomach.
Stop that. You look fine, she said rolling her eyes.
Yup, Jackson definitely got the rolling eyes thing from her. Oh no, Jackson. Collette suddenly tensed up. She never told Patrick about Jackson.
What are you doing here? he asked shocked that McDonalds would be a restaurant of choice for her.
Well, I, um, Collette stumbled over her words.
I love the balls! Jackson yelled running up to Collette and hugging her legs tightly.
Patrick jumped back slightly and looked at the little blonde boy who attached himself lovingly to Collettes legs. He looked as though he was seeing an alien attack her.
He loves the balls, Collette offered what sounded more like a question as to why she was at McDonalds.
Patrick was still in shock. He didnt quite know what to think.
Hey Patty-Cakes, you going to eat or what? Hey, Collette. Hey! Pete said walking up to Patrick with a full tray first noticing Collette and then noticing Jackson.
Collette wanted to laugh at their reactions, but felt the time wasnt exactly right. I mean, Jackson was only a child. He was nothing to be afraid of.
Is he yours? Patrick asked quietly.
Hes mine, Collette said patting him on his head.
Patrick looked at Collette and then down at Jackson. Pete couldnt stand the silence, so he set his food on the table and bent down to Jacksons level.
Hey there, buddy. Whats your name? he asked the blonde hair, blue eyed boy.
Jackson, he said shyly trying to hide behind Collettes legs.
Im Pete. Put er there, Pete said holding his hand out for Jackson to slap it.
Jackson looked at Petes hand and then up to Collette as if to ask for permission to slap his hand.
Go ahead, Collette nodded down at the boy.
Jackson got a huge smirk and slapped Petes hand hard.
Ow! You are a toughie. Thats going to leave a mark, Pete joked with Jackson causing him to giggle loudly.
Patrick watched the interaction in awe. He still couldnt believe that after all of their conversations from the caf, the fact that Collette had a child never came up. Suddenly pieces of the puzzle were starting to fit together. Collette is trying to protect her son.
Patrick looked over into Collettes eyes as she stared at him with a sad gaze as if trying to say she was sorry.
Jackson, this is Patrick. Patrick, this is Jackson, Collette introduced the two not taking her eyes away from Patricks.
She suddenly felt as though she had betrayed him by not telling him about Jackson. She should have told him.
Hi, Patrick, Jackson said looking up at him. His r sounded slightly like a w and it made Patrick smile down on him.
Hey there, Jackson. Its nice to meet you, he said putting his hand out for Jackson to shake.
Jackson looked at his hand and grabbed his pointer finger to shake it. He nodded and looked up at Patrick smiling. Patrick started laughing. This boy was adorable.
Well, Jackson. We better get going, Collette said turning towards the table to grab her purse.
Ah CoCo, cant we stay and play with Pete and Patrick? Jackson asked in a whine like state.
Not tonight, kiddo. Next time, okay? she asked bending down to pick him up.
Okay, he said sounding bummed.
Well see you boys later, Collette said giving Patrick one last sympathetic glance before she started to walk away.
See ya later alligator! Pete yelled with his mouth full of fries.
After while crocodile, Jackson waved struggling with getting crocodile out of his four-year-old mouth.
Patrick just waved still in shock. He turned to look at Pete who was shoving mass quantities of food into his mouth.
Whoa, Pete said simply and shrugging.
Did he just call her CoCo? Patrick asked suddenly confused.
-----
Collette sat in the coffee shop waiting for Patrick to arrive biting her nails nervously. She wasnt sure if he was even going to show up, but she was sure that if he did, he was going to ask questions about Jackson.
She heard the bell on the door ring and snapped her head up. There he was, walking towards her. Collette just sat there staring at him not able to breathe.
Hey, he said quietly sitting down next to her.
Hi, she said putting her hands down into her lap. I didnt think you were going to show, she said looking down now.
Why would you think something like that? he asked sounding surprised.
Because I didnt tell you about Jackson, Collette said looking Patrick in the eyes now.
Well, I was a little shocked, Patrick said shifting in his seat.
And you have every right to be. Im sorry I didnt tell you, she said folding her hands in front of her.
Why didnt you tell me? he asked wanting to know why Jackson never came up.
I dont know. I guess I just wanted to protect him, Collette said shrugging.
Protect him or yourself? Patrick interjected.
Collettes head snapped up. Patrick almost sounded bitter at the fact that Collette hadnt told him about Jackson. Could she blame him?
Look, Patrick, theres a lot that you dont know about my past, so stay out of it, Collette said sternly. She hated using that voice, which was perfected while working at the boys home.
Patrick just shook his head and started to stand up.
Where are you going? she asked grabbing onto his wrist.
Forget this, Collette. You obviously dont want me to be in your life, so Im going to do you a favor, and leave, he said standing up straight and peering down on her.
Patrick, stop. Dont be like that. Sit down, please, Collette said quietly trying to get Patrick to not create a scene.
You have my number, he said simply and left.
Collette sat there in shock. What had just happened? That was the last thing that she thought would happen. Was this man really out of her life now?
-----
Patrick walked up to the house that he and the boys were renting while they worked in the studio. He couldnt believe what he had just done. Was he crazy? He was completely head over heels for this girl and he just left her sitting there in the coffee shop. The disappointment in her eyes was enough to make him drop to his knees.
He kept telling himself that he was trying to make a point. He liked her and she liked him. She just needed to accept that fact. She was going to call him. She had to call him. Was she going to call him?
Patrick went straight into his room not wanting to talk to anyone, he just wanted to play his acoustic and let his mind shut off.
Patrick, Pete said from outside the bedroom door.
No such luck.
What? he asked annoyed. Why couldnt this boy just leave him alone?
Pete took that as a cue to come in.
What are you doing home so early? he asked putting his hands in his pockets.
I left, Patrick said simply strumming at his guitar.
And why? Pete asked.
Because, Patrick said trying to sound uninterested in this conversation so Pete would leave him alone.
Come on, Pete said grabbing Patricks wallet off of his desk.
What? Patrick asked looking at Pete in shock.
Were going to the studio, Pete said simply grabbing the guitar out of Patricks hands now. A risky move, he knew, but he didnt care.
What are you talking about? Patrick asked irritated.
Your feeling @#%$, so this is the perfect time to record some stuff. Ill be in the car, he said and walked out of the room.
Patrick sat on his bed in shock. Pete had lost it. He had definitely lost it.
Patrick laughed to himself for a moment and then got up to join his friend. Well, maybe Pete did have a point.
-----
CoCo? Is everything ok? Jackson asked as Collette came to pick him up early from daycare.
Yeah, kiddo, everythings fine, she said grabbing his hand and walking him to the car.
Do we have to go? Did the bad people find us? he asked sounding worried.
No. No bad people have found us. I just wanted to come get you early, she said buckling him into his car seat.
The little boy just nodded but stared into Collettes eyes. He wasnt buying what she was saying. Collette ignored his prying eyes and got into the Explorer.
Collette couldnt get the look of frustration from Patrick out of her mind. She didnt mean to frustrate him, she just had so much to loose. But what about all that she would gain? Collette gripped the steering wheel tighter as her heart and mind fought with each other. Patrick was the best thing that has come along in a long time; she would be insane to just let him go.
However, he was in the spotlight. Could he protect her enough to keep pictures of her and Jackson out of the tabloids? Could their relationship remain a secret?
Could he handle all of her baggage? No, certainly not.
Could she handle always wondering what if? No, certainly not.
Jackson had fallen asleep on the way home, so Collette carried him inside and laid him down in her bed. She laid there next to him and watched him sleep. She brushed his blonde locks out of his face and smiled to herself. Soon Collette had fallen asleep next to the most important thing in her life.
-----
Patrick, that was awesome. Lets call it a night, ok? Pete said as he walked into the recording room.
Patrick just nodded and marked something on the sheet of paper that was in front of him. He took his headphones off and set them on the stand.
They drove home in silence.
Thanks for that, Patrick said breaking the silence that was comfortable for them.
Hey, thank you. You sounded great today, Pete said not taking his eyes off the road.
It felt good to get some of that out, Patrick said taking a deep breath.
Do you want to talk about it now? Pete asked glancing slightly at Patrick.
I was an idiot, Patrick said staring out the window.
Why do you say that? Pete asked knowing full well that Patrick was not an idiot.
Because I got irritated with the fact that she didnt tell me about Jackson. She got angry and practically scolded me, and I just left. Just like that. I stood up and walked out, Patrick said resting his head on the back of the seat.
She got mad at you? Pete asked confused.
That wasnt what caused me to leave, though. I left because she said something along the lines of how I dont know about her past and how I should stay out of it. So I took that as a cue that she doesnt want me in her life at all, Patrick said fidgeting with his hands.
Whoa, really? Pete asked shocked.
I pretty much put the ball in her court telling her that she had my number, he said and paused thinking.
Shes gonna call, right? Patrick asked looking at Petes profile.
Yeah, how could she not, Pete swallowed hard and smiled while looking over at Patrick.
Patrick just nodded. He knew that voice. Pete wasnt so sure if she was going to call.
-----
This is Kiefer. Keifer, this is my CoCo, Morgan said introducing her sister to her new arm candy of the month.
Nice to meet you, Collette said politely as she shook the mans hand.
He just nodded towards her. He gripped Collettes hand tightly and she widened her eyes slightly at the feeling of coldness she got from this man. She could read people quite well, and she read nothing but evil all over this man.
CoCo, Im going to introduce Keifer to mom and grandma, quick. Well be right back, Morgan said happily.
Collette watched as she saw her sister take Kiefers hand in hers. She saw the way she looked up at his 62 frame adoringly. She saw how she hung on every word that he spoke. Morgan was completely head over heels for this guy. Why did Collette have the feeling like her chest was caving in when she talked to him?
Morgan came jaunting over to Collette with a giddy expression on her face.
Come walk with me, Morgan said linking her arm with her older sisters.
Wheres Keifer? Collette asked looking behind Morgan.
Talking to dad. You know, the talk, Morgan said leading them down the driveway.
The one about him having a shot gun and a shovel? Collette joked.
Thats the one, Morgan said kicking at rocks on the gravel road that they walked down.
You seem happy, Collette said after a moment of silence.
I am, Morgan said keeping her giddy smile plastered on her face.
Im happy for you, Collette said squeezing her younger sisters shoulder.
CoCo, you know that means the world to me. But do you know what would make me the happiest person ever? she asked stopping to look at Collette.
What? Collette asked confused.
You actually being happy, she said grabbing Collette by the shoulders.
I am happy, Collette laughed slightly.
No, youre not. Ever since Jeremy, you havent been happy, Morgan stated.
Collette just put her head down at the sound of his name. She didnt want to think about him.
CoCo, why do you let him do this to you? Morgan asked trying to bend down to look Collette in the eyes.
I love him, she said simply looking up into her eyes.
I know, but he doesnt make you happy. CoCo, you deserve more than anyone else in the world to be happy. You deserve to have what you want, for once. Stop worrying about everyone else and do something for yourself, CoCo. Be happy.
Collette opened her eyes quickly. Her sisters voice was still ringing in her ears. Be happy.
Collette vividly remembers that day; just as it was yesterday because that was the last day she had actually seen her sister truly happy. Keifer was a good for nothing scumbag, who turned everyones lives into a living hell.
Collette used to wish for time to go back, so she could stop her sister from meeting him. Collette would then take it back because if she were to turn back time, she wouldnt have Jackson.
Be happy.
Collette jumped out of bed noticing that Jackson wasnt there. She walked into the living room and saw him coloring and glancing at the TV every now and then.
Hey Jacks, Collette said going through her purse.
Hi CoCo. Wanna color? he asked handing her a blue color.
In a minute. I have to make a phone call. What do you feel about having company over on Friday? she asked the young boy.
-----
You are never going to believe this, Patrick said walking into Petes room without knocking.
Pete turned from his laptop and looked up at Patrick. He had a goofy grin on his face, so he imagined it had to do with Collette.
She called you, Pete said simply.
Dude, how the hell do you do that? Patrick asked shocked.
Patrick, I can read you like a playboy, Pete said leaning forward in his chair.
Patrick just rolled his eyes.
Anyway, Collette called and invited you and me over for dinner on Friday, Patrick said excitedly.
Pete just made an odd face as though he was thinking.
Why both of us? he asked.
Im not sure. Maybe she thought you would be a good playmate for Jackson, Patrick said back.
Hardy-har-har, Pete said turning back to his computer.
So youre coming with me, Patrick said making it a statement rather than a question.
I dunno, I have plans, Pete said not looking away from the computer screen.
Pete, Patrick said seriously.
Pete looked over at Patrick and saw the pleading in his eyes.
Yeah, Ill go with, he said nodding at his friend.
-----
She sure does live in the middle of nowhere, Pete said as they pulled down the long winding driveway that was surrounded by woods.
Yeah, who knew places like these existed so close to L.A., Patrick said looking around him.
The boys walked up to the fenced in area of the yard.
It sure is peaceful, Pete said reaching over the fence to unlock it looking around him.
He jumped back and almost fell over when two wolf-like looking dogs started barking, growling and snapping at his arm.
Holy @#%$! he yelled.
Both he and Patrick took many steps backwards as the dogs continued their show of anger and protection.
Nala! Simba! Down, Collette commanded walking out of the door towards the gate.
Both dogs obeyed and sat down in silence.
Good dogs, Collette said giving them a treat.
Good dogs? They nearly ate my arm, Pete said in shock.
Well, I cant scold them for doing their job, Collette said simply as she opened the gate.
Pete looked at Patrick wide-eyed and Patrick just shrugged. She had a point.
Come on in, boys, Collette said allowing them to walk into the gated area.
Pete walked in, but tried to walk as far around the dogs as possible.
Pete, they wont hurt you, Collette said laughing.
Right, he said and stopped walking suddenly causing Patrick to bump into him.
Dude? Patrick asked irritated.
Pete turned around and pointed his finger towards Collette.
Youre not a vampire, are you? he asked suspiciously.
Pete, Patrick said not amused.
A what? Collette asked confused.
You know. You got these two Hounds of Hell here guarding your place, he said pointing to the two dogs that were licking their chops at him.
Pete, stop, Patrick said sounding embarrassed.
Collette just burst out laughing causing Patrick and Pete to look at her confused.
The Lost Boys. Good movie, but no, Im not a vampire. Sorry to disappoint you, she said and started walking back towards the house.
Patrick smacked Pete on the arm when Collettes back was turned. Pete just looked at Patrick as to say, What did I do?
Im impressed you know that movie, Pete said following Collette up the stairs.
Are you kidding? Its a classic, she said opening her front door for the boys to walk in.
She smiled at Patrick as he walked past her. She wondered why he was so quiet today.
She shut the door behind the boys and pushed buttons on the white pad next to the door signaling that she had turned the alarm system on.
Patrick took note of this.
Pete! Jackson said running into the entryway with a white sash tied around his head and Rooger following close behind.
He let out one low bark, but left it at that.
Hey there, ninja, Pete said leaning down to block him from running into his privates as little kids tend to do.
Wanna play karate? he asked excited.
I dont know if Pete should play Karate. You might hurt him, Patrick said looking down at Jackson.
Really? Jackson asked concerned.
Yeah, Petes kind of a weenie when it comes to that, Patrick said noticing Pete giving him a not impressed look.
Jackson just giggled.
Patrick said that Pete was a weenie, he squealed.
Thanks, Pete said sarcastically.
Sorry, Patrick said laughing.
Jacks, why dont you go get washed up for dinner and you and the boys can play after we eat, Collette said pushing him slightly towards his room.
Ok, CoCo! he yelled as he was halfway to his room.
There it was again. Jackson called her CoCo.
So a tour? she asked clasping her hands in front of her.
Sure, Patrick said as Pete just shrugged.
Collette showed them around the homey residence noticing how Pete and Patrick were taking everything in.
And this is Jacksons room, Collette said peering in seeing Jackson playing with his trucks on the floor.
Pete walked inside and looked around.
Very cool, he said looking at the toys. Patrick just smiled over at Collette who smiled back.
Jackson are you all ready for dinner? she asked him.
Yeah, Im starving, he said dramatically.
Me too, Pete said rubbing his stomach.
They all sat in the dinning room talking about nothing in particular. Collette mainly focused the attention on the boys and their record.
Pete asked Jackson questions about his favorite cartoon characters causing Jackson to get excited; his big blue eyes getting even bigger as he talked with his hands. That was something that Collette did.
Remember that CoCo? Jackson asked as he finished a story about Rooger chasing a bunny.
I sure do, Collette said laughing at this young, animated boy.
CoCo, can I show Pete my room now? Jackson asked after he had finished drinking his milk. He still had the milk mustache on his face.
Sure, but go wash you hands first, ok? she said smiling at him.
Ok! he said jumping off his chair and running towards the bathroom.
You dont have to play in his room if you dont want to, Collette said laughing.
Naw, I would love to, Pete said smiling at her.
He knew that Patrick wanted more alone time with Collette, so he would help out in any way possible.
Why does he call you CoCo? Patrick asked.
Pete dropped his fork. That was forward, especially for Patrick.
What? Collette asked sounding nervous.
Well, I mean, why doesnt he call you mom? Patrick asked.
It was obvious that he had been pondering this for quite some time and couldnt come up with a reasonable explanation.
Well, because Im not his mother, Collette said simply.
This caused Petes jaw to nearly fall to the floor.
But at McDonalds you said he was yours, Patrick asked as his brain began to hurt.
Hes mine, legally, she said back quietly.
Pete! Wanna go play now? Jackson asked running into the dinning room.
-----
Patrick and Collette sat in the living room drinking wine listen to Pete and Jackson laughing out loud at what ever game they were playing on Jacksons gaming system.
Whose is he? Patrick asked breaking the silence that had surrounded them.
My sisters, Collette said quietly.
Can I asked what happened? he asked knowing he was treading on thin ice.
She died over a year ago. The last thing she wanted was for Jackson to go to his father, so she named me his legal guardian. She called me CoCo, so that is why he calls me CoCo, Collette explained.
Why werent you more open about him? Patrick asked.
I know you think that Im trying to protect myself, but Im really trying to protect him, she said turning slightly so she could face him.
Protect him from what? he asked doing the same.
Heartbreak. He gets attached to you and then you leave. Thats hard for a boy his age, she said talking quietly.
How do you know how things are going to end up if you dont even give it a chance? Patrick asked in almost a pleading way.
He knew there was more than what Collette was leading on.
Im scared, she whispered looking into his eyes.
The unknown is always scary, but isnt always wondering even scarier? Patrick asked.
Collette pondered what Patrick had just said. He was right, and that was why she called him in the first place. She couldnt live with always wondering. Besides, her sister wants her to be happy, she always had.
Collette looked up into those eyes that she had found herself get lost in before. She found herself wondering what it would be like to kiss those lips and to wake up in those arms again.
Things are going to be complicated, she said shaking her thoughts from her head.
When are they not? he asked leaning forward slightly.
He wanted nothing more than to kiss her at that moment. The look on her face made him want her even more. It was the look of struggling with wanting and uncertainty that caused him to reach up and gently touch her cheek.
Collette put her hand over his and leaned into his hand. She cant remember the last time she had the gentle touch of a males hand caress her cheek. It was something that she longed for and now that she had it, she didnt want to let it go.
Lets take things slowly, and see where they go, Patrick whispered leaning forward even more.
Collette was unable to take her eyes from his. She just nodded and leaned forward as if she was hypnotized as well.
Patricks lips met Collettes as they shared a sweet innocent kiss. Collette felt sparks go from her lips straight down to her toes and she was sure Patrick felt it too.
-----
Soooo, Pete said as he drove down the driveway from Collettes house.
So, what? Patrick asked trying to hide the huge smile that was on his face.
You know, Pete said trying to catch glimpses of Patrick.
Know what? Patrick asked being a smart-ass.
You kissed her, Pete stated.
See, I never have to tell you anything because by some force unknown to man, you always know! Patrick said laughing.
I knew it! Dude, it was written all over your face, Pete said laughing loudly.
What ever, Patrick said sitting back in his seat.
So, now what? Are you guys like boyfriend girlfriend? he asked in a playful manner.
I dunno. I said we were going to take things slowly because she seems to be mending some serious wounds, Patrick said sounding concerned.
Yeah, what is the story with her? Pete asked obviously missing the informational conversation due to entertaining Jackson, or Jackson entertaining him.
She said that her sister passed away and Jacksons father is apparently a dead beat, so Collette got custody of him, Patrick said shrugging.
Thats all she said? Pete asked.
Basically, Patrick nodded.
Well, there is obviously more to that story, Pete said incredulously.
Patrick just nodded. He was deep in thought. What if what she was hiding was too much for him to handle?
-----
Go on a date with me, Patrick said as he sat across from Collette at the coffee shop.
It had been two weeks since that evening at Collettes and they still havent done anything together other than meet at the coffee shop. It was time that they started acting like a dating couple.
Are you asking me or telling me? she asked playfully.
Both? he asked simply scrunching up his face slightly.
When? she asked trying not to sound too eager.
Friday, he blurted.
I dont have a babysitter, she said simply shaking her head no.
Pete will baby-sit, Patrick said hoping to God that Pete didnt have any plans for Friday.
Right. The man who needs a babysitter himself, watching my child? I dont think so, Collette was only half kidding.
What if Andy and Joe babysat too? Patrick offered. He would do everything in his power to get this girl on a date; a real date.
Collette was seriously considering allowing the boys to watch Jackson. What was the worst thing that could happen? She found herself cringing at the thought. She heard stories about those boys and she didnt really trust them with Jacksons life.
Her negative thoughts were quickly replaced by happy thoughts when she saw the look of hope on Patricks face. Her heart melted as it had done so many times before. This boy really wanted to take her on a date. How could she say no?
Alright, but if one hair on his head is harmed, Im blaming you, Collette said pointing her finger at him.
I take full responsibility, Patrick held his hand up in the air as if he were swearing on the Bible.
Collette smiled warmly, but couldnt shake the feeling that something bad may happen. Pete is practically a child himself, and what do Joe and Andy know of child care? It will be more like Jackson babysitting them.
-----
Guess who has plans for Friday, Patrick said happily as he walked into the living room where all his band mates sat doing various activities.
You, Pete said not looking up from his sidekick.
Yup, and you three as well, Patrick said nodding with a closed smile plastered on his face.
Really? And what would that be? Joe asked with the gaming system controller gripped tightly in his hands as he tried to beat Andy at what ever game they were playing.
Babysitting, Patrick stated.
As if on cue, all boys heads shot up and looked at Patrick with shock. Petes sidekick buzzed and a crash and scream was heard on the TV signaling someone just died.
Fun, huh? Patrick said trying to break the silence.
Im not babysitting, Pete said laughing slightly thinking it was a joke.
Well, not just you, Patrick said explaining the situation. Joe and Andy too.
No way, Im too old to baby-sit, Andy said shaking his head and leaning back into the couch.
Yeah, man. What are we? Thirteen? Joe asked throwing his controller down.
Come on you guys. I want to take Collette out on a nice evening, alone. We need a babysitter. Please, Patrick whined.
Dude, Ill baby-sit for you. Just stop with the whining, Pete said going back to his sidekick.
There, now you have a babysitter, Andy pointed and positioned himself to begin to play video games again.
Well, actually, Collette doesnt trust Pete to baby-sit by himself, Patrick said quickly.
Again all the boys heads popped up at this and gave Patrick another look of shock.
Well, can you blame her? Patrick asked shocked that they were shocked.
The guys looked around at each other and ended up shrugging.
Not really, Pete said focusing on his sidekick once again.
So, will you guys do this for me? Please? Patrick asked sincerely.
Sure, Patrick. We will help you out this time, Andy said quietly.
He didnt know much about this Collette girl, but he knew that Patrick was finding a liking for her. He also knew that if he were in that situation, Patrick would be there to help him out as well.
-----
I dont wanna die! Joe yelled as Simba and Nala continued their barking at the four boys who stood back with fear.
Jackson ran out of the house with treats in his hands making sure to reward the dogs for being good.
Hey Jackson, Pete said happily that the two dogs were sitting and eating their treats quietly.
Hi Pete! he said happily unlocking the gate and allowing the boys to come in.
Everyone started to enter except for Joe who stood back with fear in his eyes.
Hey Pete, Jackson said grabbing Petes sleeve.
Yeah? he asked looking down at the boy.
Is that guy gonna come in? he asked giving Joe an odd look.
Joe, come on. Stop being a wuss, Pete said in a commanding voice.
Jackson giggled loudly.
What are you laughing at? Pete asked picking up Jackson, flinging him over his shoulder, and running towards the house with Jackson squealing loudly.
Joe slowly and cautiously walked into the gated area and quietly closed the gate thinking that if he made any sudden movements or noises the dogs would attack. Patrick noticed that Joe was not with them, so he looked back to see Joe practically tip-toeing around the dogs. He just laughed to himself.
Joe didnt move too fast, but when one dog let out a sound he ran as fast as his legs could take him making it to the house before anyone else.
What is he running for? Andy asked Patrick as Joe ran into the house.
God only knows, Patrick muttered.
The boys walked into the house to see Joe with his hands on his knees breathing deeply.
Joe, I know the answer already, but are you on drugs? Andy asked him.
Joe just looked up at him out of breath not answering.
Rooger came bounding into the entryway with a loud single bark as he always did.
GOD NO! Joe yelled running behind Andy.
Whats going on? Collette asked walking into the entryway slowly.
Patrick looked over at her and almost let his jaw drop. She was dressed in a cute red strapless dress with a black shall over her arms. She wore her hair down letting it cascade down her shoulders.
Joes afraid of your dogs, Andy explained.
Joe, they wont hurt you, Collette said laughing at the look on his face. Especially this one, she said taking Roogers head between her hands and rubbing his ears.
Joe slowly moved from behind Andy and smiled slightly.
Just let him sniff you, Collette offered. Go say hi to Joe, Collette said to Rooger pointing to Joe.
Hey Rooger, Joe said holding his hand out.
Rooger, of course, avoided Joes hand and stuck his head into his crotch.
Whoa! Joe said jumping back.
Andy, Collette, and Patrick just laughed.
Not funny, Joe said sternly.
Sorry, Joe. Hes got a mind of his own, Collette said grabbing Rooger by the collar and pulling him away from Joe.
Its fine, Joe said brushing dog drool off his pants not sounding amused.
They heard Jackson squealing from inside the house, so Joe and Andy followed the sound to see what was up.
Patrick stood back and looked at Collette. She was gorgeous. Collette noticed that Patrick was staring at her.
Am I too over dressed? she asked.
No, you look great, he gushed.
Collette blushed and looked to her side.
Thanks, she said smiling.
She looked back at Patrick taking notice that he didnt look so bad himself. He had on some dark slacks with a white polo, a black coat, and of course a black hat. Collette took notice of how he always seemed to where multiple layers, even in L.A where it was warm.
So ready to go? Patrick asked feeling self conscious that Collette was staring.
Just a second. Let me talk to the boys and lay down some rules, she said walking into the living room where all four boys were playing Playstation.
Jacks, can you pause for a second? Collette asked looking into her purse making sure she had everything.
Jackson pushed pause which caused a chorus of awes from the grown-ups.
Yeah, CoCo? he asked walking up to her.
You be good for the guys tonight, ok? she asked kneeling down to be eye level with him.
I will, he said nodding.
You know where all the emergency numbers are and I will have my cell phone on all night. Please call for anything, ok? she asked grabbing the front of his shirt slightly.
I know, he said rolling his eyes.
Its alright, Collette. Well be fine, Pete said still sitting on the floor in front of the TV waiting for the game to continue.
Alright, I left money on the counter, so you guys can order pizza, Collette said loud enough for the guys to hear.
Ok, Pete said simply.
Dont let them turn on the oven, Collette said quietly to Jackson.
Alright, CoCo, he said laughing and nodding.
Collette hugged Jackson tightly to her.
I love you, she said squeezing harder.
CoCo, you have to let me go, he said quietly.
I know, she said and let go to look at him.
He just smiled at her and made her melt with his big blue eyes. She couldnt help but be reminded of her sister every time he gave her that look. It was a look that asked what are you thinking? Her sister always gave her that look.
Have fun, she said ruffling his hair and standing up.
Ready? Patrick asked staying back a ways, so Collette could say goodbye to Jackson.
Yup, she said smiling.
Be good you guys, Patrick said in a low voice.
No one said a thing for they were too involved in their game.
-----
Patrick took Collette to the old part of L.A. by Union Station.
Do you like Mexican food? he asked as they walked along the street.
There were stands all over where people would sell little trinkets and such that they had made. There was a mariachi band playing in the background outside one of the little restaurants.
I love it, she said simply.
Good, I like this part of town because it is away from all the Hollywood hype, you know, he said smiling over at her.
Its very relaxing, she said nodding.
Patrick led her to a restaurant where they were seating in the outside patio. There were some people there, but it was quite enough for them to talk to one another. They could still hear the mariachi band playing in the background. The atmosphere was very romantic.
Collette looked all around taking in all the sites.
I cant say that I have ever been to this part of town before, she said looking at Patrick now.
Patrick just looked at her in hopes she was enjoying herself.
I like it, she nodded approvingly.
Me too, he smiled at her.
Collette could only smile back at this point because Patrick was being so adorable. He had opened every door for her and led her around by gently putting his hand on the small of her back. He made sure to pull her chair out for her before sitting in his own. It had been a long time since she had been treated in such a way and she kind of liked it.
They spent the evening sipping on margaritas and talking about anything and everything. Patrick talked more about his past and childhood back home in Illinois. Collette felt freer to talk about her sister and her childhood as well being that Patrick knew that her sister had died.
It sounds like you two were quite the pair, Patrick said laughing after Collette had told the story about how she and her sister had dropped a six pack of Dr. Pepper in the store having all the cans burst open showering them and everyone else in soda.
She was my best friend, Collette said quietly.
You must miss her a lot, Patrick said noticing that Collette had gotten a distant look on her face.
I do. Even though its only been about a year and half since she past away, I felt like I lost her a long before that, Collette said taking a big sigh.
How so? Patrick inquired.
Kiefer, Jacksons father. She was head over heels for this guy, and he just whisked her away from me. I remember my birthday one year, Collette started to reminisce.
CoCo, dont be angry with me, Morgan sighed into the phone.
Angry? How could I not be angry? Mo, this is my birthday. Ive never had a birthday without you, Collette said sounding disappointed into the phone.
Listen to me. Something came up and I just cant make it, but I will make it up to you. I promise. You know I wouldnt miss this unless it was important, right, Morgan said trying her best to sound as though nothing was wrong.
I know. Ill miss you, Collette said taking a big sigh.
Me too. Have fun, Morgan said shutting the phone off before she broke into tears.
I found out later that Kiefer had hit Morgan for trying to leave to come to my birthday. Something always came up and I never knew it was because he wouldnt let her near her family. He was an evil man, Collette said quietly shaking her head.
Collette, I am so sorry that you lost her, Patrick said sympathetically.
Me too, she said looking into his eyes.
Patrick just grabbed her hand from across the table and squeezed it tightly. He had a feeling that Kiefer was the cause of more pain than Collette was letting on. He had a thought that perhaps the reason Collette was in L.A. with Jackson was because of Kiefer.
Soon their food came and the conversation took a turn to a lighter side and they spent the rest of the evening eating good food and laughing. It was everything Patrick had hoped for in a first date.
-----
Collette quietly opened the door in order to not wake up anybody that may have fallen asleep. It was already midnight.
After eating at the restaurant, Patrick and Collette drove down Ocean Avenue and found a place to park and talk. There may have been a little bit of making out as well.
Rooger came into the entry way, but didnt bark when he noticed it was Collette at the door.
Do you think they are sleeping? Patrick asked quietly.
I dont know. Its pretty quiet in there, Collette said slipping off her shoes.
They tiptoed into the living room and saw that all of the boys had fallen asleep.
Pete was laying on the floor with his head propped against the couch with Jackson sleeping with his head on Petes stomach. Pete rested his hand on Jacksons back. Joe and Andy laid at opposite ends of the couch both with their mouths wide open. The TV was bright blue showing that the movie they were watching had been turned off.
Oh, cute, Collette said mainly to herself.
Ill put Jackson to bed for you, Patrick said walking into the living room and picking the boy up quietly.
Petes eyes flew open and he breathed in deeply. He gave Patrick a confused look as Patrick smiled down at him with Jackson draped over his shoulder.
Pete looked around confused and sat up still with a clueless expression.
You didnt burn the place down. Im impressed, Collette said quietly as Patrick walked into Jacksons room.
Pete smiled and nodded.
Yeah, it was tough to resist, but Jackson said we couldnt play with matches, he joked. His voice was scratchy showing signs that he had just woken up.
Patrick came back out and smiled at Collette.
He didnt even wake up, he said putting his hands in his back pockets.
Yeah, hes always been a heavy sleeper, she smiled and walked to turn the TV off.
So did you guys have a good night? Pete asked picking himself off the floor.
It was nice, Collette smiled towards Patrick.
Yeah, it was, he smiled back.
Pete noticed that they looked lik